


Duality

by AmralimeOfGondolin



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Abuse, Adopted Children, Adoption, Bullying, Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Exploitation, F/F, F/M, Gen, Half-Romulan, Half-vulcan, Hiding, Hiding in Plain Sight, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kobayashi Maru, M/M, Multi, New Vulcan, Non-Sexual Slavery, Other, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Remans (Star Trek), Romulans, Secret Identity, Slavery, Slaves, Starfleet, Starfleet Academy, Vulcan, Vulcan Culture, Vulcan Science Academy (Star Trek)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25677169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmralimeOfGondolin/pseuds/AmralimeOfGondolin
Summary: It is not in a Vulcan's nature to lie. It is illogical, impractical, and more often than not does more harm than good. Though, in this case, I can hardly imagine it doing any harm. And as I am not entirely Vulcan, I can permit myself a small alteration of data and feel little regret doing it. However, I do regret involving my father in this, no matter how grateful I am to him for it. Without his help, it wouldn't have been possible for a creature such as myself to join Starfleet. If I am to be found out, one could only imagine the consequences of my actions, no matter how banal they might have been.
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Original Female Character(s), Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Original Romulan Character(s), Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Original Vulcan Character(s), Spock/Nyota Uhura
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	1. Nakai Si'Vath Teker-khaf

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction takes place in the Star Trek alternate universe (new movies).   
> A few filler chapters, such as chapters before, after and in between the events of the movies will be taken from The Original Series. Certain elements, such as the Reman race, are taken from other versions of Star Trek such as The Next Generation. Take note that the lore or the events of Star Trek: Discovery do not exist in my fanfiction as I did not take a liking to it.  
> Take care, and happy reading!

**Remus, Romulan Space, Sector Z-6**

Nakai followed the Remans with hunched shoulders and swollen knuckles. They were only few of the inhabitants of this planet, the rest being the Romulans that had enslaved them to mine for dilithium crystals. They were permitted baths once a week, but long ago were the times that they still tried to scrub the dilithium dust out of their broken nails or the lines on their pale sunken faces. Nakai had only been working for a single year, but she could already feel everyone's suffering. It had crept into her, slowly but surely—yesterday marked the first day she stopped trying to scrub the glowing pink dust out of her pores.

She could remember her first day down in the caves like it was yesterday. She had been terrified, and she fought every order given to her. Once, Nakai didn't fear the repercussions, but after receiving lashes and disruptor burns from the mine's guards for over a month, Nakai began to fear them. The scars that littered her body reminded her every day that they could hurt her without warning. Her lungs burned from the crystal dust, her muscles ached, and when she'd emerge from the blackened pits at the end of the day, Nakai could barely recognise herself. She could taste nothing but dilithium crystals. Now, after one year of this torture, her lungs couldn't tolerate clean air, her eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the tunnels, and her muscles had gotten used to the tension and the pain.

Ahead, Nakai's mother walked without a shred of emotion on her face. It wasn't because after spending nearly half of her lifetime in the tunnels had stripped her of emotions. It was pride. Despite the horrors that she and her child had faced, the Vulcan woman refused to give in to the emotions her people fought so hard to suppress. To show emotion was weakness, and it was even more so when surrounded by Romulans born to beat you into submission. T'Sath always kept a straight face and never deviated from the rules. Nakai's father had taken advantage of this. T'Sath never resisted him, and that was how Nakai came into being.

T'Sath stepped into the darkness of the tunnels and was swallowed instantly. It was only the gentle glow of the dilithium crystals that kept Nakai from irrationally thinking that her mother had vanished. But it didn't stop the irrational fear that welled up in Nakai's chest. Her feet began pounding over the crystal dust and down the tunnel after T'Sath, barrelling through Remans and Romulan guards alike. The cold, humid air invaded her lungs, the fine crystalline powder stung her eyes. The underfoot was rough and Nakai nearly tripped and fell, but the Remans had her back. Vrisrix looked out for the little girl far more than her own mother, and Nakai was grateful. 

"Be careful, little one," a voice said in her mind. Vrisrix helped Nakai regain her footing. "Wouldn't want you to get hurt."  
"Thank you, Vrisrix."

Nakai smiled gently at the Reman and resumed her run towards her mother, carefully weaving through the guards on her way there. She announced her presence to T'Sath by grasping her hand. The girl's mother turned to her sharply. If there had been emotion in the woman's face, it would have been anger.

"Nakai, you cannot be here," T'Sath said in her native tongue.  
"But mother, we're all going to the same place."  
"Should Therruk find out that we are not separated, both of us will endure punishment, Nakai."

Nakai's eyes widened in fear.

"More punishment, _m'aih_ ?"  
"Do not show your fear."  
"But _m'aih_ —"  
"I know, Nakai. When we get off this planet, it will be easier."

A booming voice made T'Sath and Nakai turn. One of the Romulan guards had spotted Nakai beside her mother, and it wouldn't be the first time—she'd been subject to punishment by this man on more than one occasion. 

"Get back in line, you little rat. Or do I have to call for your father?" he said in his native Romulan.  
"Please, forgive her," T'Sath said, again in her own tongue. "She simply wanted to ask me a question, that it all."

The guard grunted, looking unconvinced. He approached T'Sath and Nakai, and knelt down in front of the little girl. She could smell the stale Romulan Ale on his breath when he spoke again.

"What's your question?"  
"It's nothing your pea-brain could understand," Nakai said in the man's language.  
"Why you—"

The Romulan struck Nakai so hard that the clap resonated in the caves. The guard's jagged nail's left a shallow cut and a stinging red welt on the girl's cheek. Nakai staggered backwards, clutching her face. The tears that escaped her eyes mingled with the green oxidised blood falling from the fresh cut and Nakai fell over, overwhelmed with emotion and pain. T'Sath stepped forward to defend her child, but she too received an incredibly strong back-handed strike to the face. The other prisoners paid the scene no mind as they descended into the caves, and the pained screams of T'Sath and her child echoed for hours in the caves while the guard and Therruk gave them a piece of their minds. 

The bruises were still a deep purple weeks later, and the cuts and burns on Nakai's skin had barely healed. T'Sath wasn't in much better shape. Her breathing had gotten much harsher since Nakai's last disobedience, and she found it hard to stay awake to work. Oftentimes, it was Nakai who had to shake her mother awake before the guards passed to avoid further punishment. Vrisrix had made sure that Nakai kept her temper in check, but with the Romulan blood conflicting with Vulcan inside of her, it was difficult. The girl was prone to talking back, even insulting the Romulan guards, and it got worse when they threatened to hurt her weakened mother. Nakai even began to go against her father, Therruk, when T'Sath was involved.

"Work!" Therruk shouted, pushing T'Sath so that she fell over.  
"Can't you see she's trying!?" Nakai roared, getting between Therruk and her mother.  
"Shouldn't you be working too, _paenhe_ ?"  
"I am not your daughter!"  
"Varraka!"  
"That is not my name!"

Therruk struck his daughter across the face so hard that she fell near her mother. Despite the stinging in her face, Nakai stood again to protect her mother, but it would seem that the universe had different plans for her. Therruk went to beat down his daughter again, but T'Sath managed to pull something from her threadbare clothes. It glinted in the dim glow of the dilithium and she sunk it into the man's neck. Blood poured from his neck and onto T'Sath and Nakai, and he fell with an unceremonious thump. The Romulan guards began to swarm the prisoners, and in the glow of the crystals and the flashes of the disruptors, Vrisrix pulled Nakai away on T'Sath's orders. 

"No, Vrisrix, my mother!"

It was too late. The second that Vrisrix took the girl and ran, a flash of green hit T'Sath straight in the chest. A scream forced itself up Nakai's throat. It was as if her mind was being shredded from the inside, her heart carved out of her chest. She cried like there was too much raw pain inside to be contained. She cried and screamed like her spirit needed to break loose from her skin, desperate to release an elemental rage onto the planet. She would have taken a lifetime of slavery over being separated from her mother, her only family. Even now, T'Sath would have reprimanded her. There was no reason for Nakai to feel this way, she would be safe and free. It was logical. But Nakai didn't care. As Vrisrix pulled her along to an empty freighter, she kicked and fought and wailed, fighting against him with every inch of her being. But it was no use—the Reman was far stronger than the little girl.

Vrisrix locked the doors to the freighter and dropped the child onto a seat, but she ran off and began clawing at the doors, trying to pry them open. Her cracked nails became bloodied fingertips. Vrisrix launched the ship and soon, the mining colony was far away. The Romulans attempted several times to shoot down the freighter, but Vrisrix evaded all the attacks, and once out of Romulan space, there was nothing they could do—going past the Vulcan-Romulan Neutral Zone was considered an act of war, which meant it wouldn't be long before a Vulcan patrol ship made their way towards them.

It wouldn't be until nearly a week later that the Vulcans found the Romulan freighter. Nakai spent most of those days in complete silence, eyes frozen over like the surface of a winter puddle. She was empty, like a shell, all her emotions expelled onto Remus with the final breath of her mother. And even when the Vulcans came, Nakai didn't give them any more indication that she was more than just alive. It didn't help that the Vulcan's refused to allow Vrisrix to follow, but already devoid of most emotion, Nakai didn't fight it. They bid each other goodbye in the silence of their minds, and Nakai followed the Vulcans aboard their ship. 

The air was clean, and the little girl's lungs found it hard to take it in, so unhabituated to fresh air. Her eyes stung from the light, and it gave her a headache if she kept her eyes open for too long. Then, the fear began creeping back when the ship began to move. She didn't know where Vrisrix would go, or if he would live for long. She could no longer feel her mental connection to Vrisrix, to anyone—Nakai was truly alone now.

The Vulcans that had taken Nakai with them tried, in their own way, to comfort the girl, but she remained unresponsive. They didn't know whether she could understand them, and as her eyes remained closed, they couldn't even tell whether she could hear them. Every time they tried to give her food, treat her wounds, clean her up, Nakai would back away, and the Vulcans would stop trying.

* * *

**Planet Vulcan, Vulcan Space, Sector 001**

It was another few days until they reached the Vulcan homeworld. Nakai's eyes had adjusted to the light and her lungs were no longer fighting the clean air. While she hadn't accepted any medical treatment, she'd eaten a few morsels of food left beside her while the Vulcans weren't looking. 

As they descended through the atmosphere, Nakai's eyes burned from the bright sunlight that shone on most of the planet's surface—she couldn't help but look out, anyway. The planet's planet's coppery sand was a rich red-hue, and there were greens and blues scattered throughout the mountain chains. A few lakes were hidden by dusty clouds and sandstorms. Nakai could have sworn she saw lightning in one of them. Upon exiting the ship, Nakai didn't struggle to breathe at all, and the sun's ample warmth was quite welcomed on the girl's pale skin.

Nakai and the Vulcan's from the ship were greeted by seven others. As the Vulcan's spoke, Nakai wandered to the edge of the landing pad. The Vulcan planet was covered in rolling hills. The wind stirred up Nakai's matted hair and the wispy sand below. The sun's neverending rays beat down on her, but they did so in a warm welcoming manner. Nakai suddenly longed for cold water.

"A welcome change, is it?"

Nakai's gaze went from the desert ahead to a Vulcan man standing beside her. She stared at him for a while, trying to discern his expression, but she found nothing. It was almost as if his eyes bore into her soul and gave nothing in return.

"Come. We will bring you to a physician."

Nakai's eyebrows furrowed. She was unsure, but she followed the man regardless. They walked through the immense halls of sandy-white buildings that stood proudly from the desert sands. Vulcans greeted each other with curt nods of the head, and stared at Nakai in curiosity. They were clad in plain but rich linens, with gauzy white shawls and scarves to hide their faces from the approaching sand storms.

The physician's office was as clean as the inside of the ship Nakai had arrived on. It smelled of things Nakai didn't recognise, but the scents soothed her, as did the gentle voice of the physician who greeted her.

"What is your name?"  
"Nakai Si'Vath Teker-khaf."  
"You speak our tongue," the physician said, sounding pleased. "I am Laanni. Come. We will get you cleaned up. Thank you, Strevek, I shall call you when I begin the tests."

Strevek nodded politely and exited.

"Tests?" Nakai asked.  
"Yes, we need to make sure that you are healthy. But first, we shall get you cleaned up."

Laanni led Nakai to an adjacent room where a warm bath waited for her. She slid into the water after removing her tattered clothes, and let it flow over her like a salve. Years and years of dust and mistreatment were washing away, and Nakai just wished that her mother were here to enjoy it as well. And while the warm water was able to remove the blood on her skin and the tension in her muscles, it did nothing to relieve the worries in her mind. The tests would surely reveal everything there was to know about Nakai, and that worried her—what would they do when they found out that she wasn't entirely Vulcan?

Laanni returned with clean clothes when Nakai called for her. They were thick and soft, made of materials that Nakai could have only dreamed about while on Remus. But the amazement in the face of new garments was short-lived, as Laanni had called for Strevek. He hoisted Nakai up onto the examination table and stepped back so that Laanni could move freely around the girl. 

"I will now scan you."

Nakai nodded once and watched as the physician scanned her with a handheld machine. It beeped a few times, which made her nervous, but neither Strevek nor Laanni seemed to be concerned. When the scan was complete, both Vulcans looked over the diagrams and scans. A moment of silence preceded an interesting question.

"You are Vulcan, yes?" Laanni asked.  
"Yes," Nakai said simply.  
"But not completely."

Nakai shook her head.

"Then you are half-Human, I presume? A result of a union on the planet Remus," Strevek stated. "This is not surprising. Already we have a Hybrid on this planet. Another of the same will not change anything."  
"Strevek, the readings are different than those of Spock. They are closer to a Vulcan's than his," Laanni said. "The only conclusion that seems reasonable is that she is half-Romulan."

Strevek and Laanni looked at each other in silence.

"Is this true?" Strevek asked after a moment.

Nakai didn't say anything. She looked down at her hands and feet as if they'd suddenly become more interesting than anything else.

"Answer me, child," Strevek said, sternly.  
"Be patient, Strevek. Do not frighten her," Laanni said.  
"She is Vulcan, Laanni. She should not be frightened in the first place. It is not because she is at a disadvantage that we must be lenient. The Spock boy is growing up fine despite his, and it is because we did not coddle him." Strevek turned to Nakai again. "I ask you again. Are you Romulan?"

Nakai managed a small nod of her head. Something shone in Strevek's eyes, but she couldn't figure out what it was. 

"I must speak with the Council."  
"Very well," Laanni said. "I will continue the tests."

Strevek nodded, and with one last glance at Nakai, he left. Laanni continued the tests and cleaned up the cuts and the burns on her skin with a gentleness that Nakai had never known. The physician questioned the girl about her life on Remus, and Nakai retold everything with accuracy. Tears were falling from her eyes by the time she had finished explaining herself, and Laanni couldn't help but look at her strangely—seeing someone who looked like a Vulcan show so much emotion was odd, even for a physician who had seen many ailments that affected Vulcan minds.

Strevek returned moments later, and he asked that Laanni finish her tests as quickly as possible—the Council was requesting Nakai's presence as soon as possible. Laanni obeyed, and after wiping the young girl's tears away, lead her down many halls and corridors until they reached the biggest door that Nakai had ever seen. Through it was a large and spacious room, simply decorated, but evidently cherished, as the detailing of the ceiling and the walls were well-kept and shining. At one end of the room, seven Vulcans, including Strevek, were seated behind a desk three times Nakai's height. 

"Nakai Si'Vath Teker-khaf," one of them spoke.

Nakai looked up at Laanni, who gave a small nod of encouragement, and walked to the centre of the room. The seven Vulcans stared down at her with impassive looks on their face, and it made her nervous.

"You may be young, but the cerebral scans have determined that you are of high enough intelligence to understand the entirety of your situation.  
"It has been brought to the High Council's attention that you are a hybrid. We have no issue with hybrids, as one of our own has a son with a Human female. We take issue with the fact that you are, in fact, part Romulan."  
"It is not my fault that I am part Romulan."  
"We cannot allow a Romulan to share our planet. Therefore—"  
"A Romulan guard forced himself on my mother!"  
"That is regrettable—"  
"You would allow the child of one of your own be treated this way!?" Nakai shouted. Tears stung at her eyes and her fists had balled-up in rage. "My mother was Vulcan! She fought and died for my survival. Are you telling me that that was all for nought!?"

The seven council members shared a few looks.

"Who was your mother?" one of them asked.  
"My mother was T'Sath."  
"T'Sath?"  
"You know her?" Nakai said, her fists relaxing at her sides.  
"Yes. She was once a member of the Science Academy's most distinguished research team," Strevek said.   
"The loss of T'Sath is a great one," another member said. "We will deliberate. Please wait outside."

Laanni fetched Nakai from the centre of the room and brought her outside. They sat together in silence for the entirety of the deliberation. It worried Nakai that she might not be able to live on her mother's home planet, that she would be condemned to exile like Vrisrix had been.

"You do not have to worry."

Nakai looked up to Laanni.

"The High Council will not condemn T'Sath's child."  
"You knew her too?"  
"Yes, she was my partner at the Vulcan Science Academy."

The young girl suddenly felt happier. T'Sath had been important to Vulcan—maybe one day Nakai would be too.

Deliberations soon came to an end after that, and Strevek came to fetch Nakai. He brought her to the centre of the room and remained by her side. Nakai looked up at him, confused, but the same grey eyes that had stared into her soul earlier that day looked down at her again, and she couldn't help but trust him.

"The loss of T'Sath is a great one," one of the council members said. "To honour her, we shall grant you citizenship of Vulcan, as was her final wish. However, this citizenship comes with conditions.  
"First, you must abide by our laws and customs, you must follow our teachings, and you must learn to purge all emotion as is the way of Surak. Second, your Romulan heritage will be considered privileged information—anyone outside this room, excluding your physician, is not to know of it. And third, one member of the council must take you as their ward and raise you as their own.   
"Do you accept these terms?"  
"I accept these terms," Nakai said, feeling relieved.  
"Very well. Then, starting today, you are a citizen of Vulcan."  
"Who is it that will take me as their ward?"

Strevek put a hand on Nakai's shoulder.

"My wife Laanni and I."


	2. Emotions

To say that her life on Vulcan had been perfect wouldn't be quite the truth, but she loved it regardless. She loved the desert that surrounded everything, the warmth of the sun and the soft linen sheets that she got to sleep in every night. She loved that her stomach was full every night she went to bed and she loved that, despite being half-Romulan, she was being given every opportunity to succeed. However, her emotional whims and small bouts of anger often got in the way.

It had always been near impossible for Nakai to control her emotions, and that was the case even when it was her mother trying to get them in check. But some days Nakai didn't want to control them, and that caused problems. On one hand, she was required, as per the conditions to her citizenship, to control them, but on the other hand, she felt lucky to feel such strong emotions when surrounded by people who didn't even smile. Of course, it reminded her of her father, and sometimes she cursed him for giving her such uncontrollable emotions in the first place, but sometimes she was grateful that she could feel outwardly excited when getting a perfect score on one of her tests. It made her feel alive, and after the life she'd had on Romulus, it was welcome.

However, as she entered her second year in the Vulcan Learning Centre, Nakai's face was devoid of any emotion. As the Vulcan High Council had demanded, and just as her mother would have wanted, Nakai had started learning to suppress her turbulent emotions. She no longer smiled, no longer cried, no longer got angry—at least not in public. Laanni had proven to be far more lenient when it came to Nakai's emotions. If Strevek wasn't there, Laanni wouldn't say a word should Nakai display a little happiness or anger. 

However, it was the habit of Stravik, Strevek's son, to attempt to torment her, to elicit an emotional response from her as to get Nakai in trouble. It didn't always work, of course, and Stravik would try again some other time, but when it did work, Nakai would lose the control she'd begun to master. There was one time where he'd dared to insult her mother, which got Nakai so angry that Stravik ended up with a broken and bloodied nose.

There was another child who went through similar torment, though at the hands of his classmates. Though, so far, he'd proven to be far more effective at controlling his emotions than Nakai. Sometimes, she wished to be like him, able to completely master her emotions, but most times it irritated her that he never fought back.

The bullies were at it again this morning, jabbing him with words and insults surrounding his human mother. The boy kept his calm, but as Nakai passed by them and heard unsavoury words about being a hybrid, she couldn't keep her calm like he was. She slid down into one of the skill domes and got in between the boy and the bullies.

"Ah, it is the other hybrid. Have you come to join him?"  
"No, I have come to tell you to leave him alone," Nakai said politely.  
"There is no logical reason as to why I would listen to you."  
"How about my fist in your face—would that make you reconsider?"

The three Vulcan boys looked at each other.

"You lie."  
"Do you truly want to find that out for yourself?"  
"If I do, maybe they will send you back to—"

The boy didn't have time to react. Nakai had run up to him and clocked him straight in the nose before he even finished his sentence. He fell backwards onto the floor and his friends picked him up before scrambling away. Nakai sighed and flexed her fingers, staring at the green blood that was on her knuckles. 

"Are you okay?" Nakai asked, looking up at the boy.  
"That is irrelevant," he said. "I am not the one who engaged in a fight."

Nakai wiped the boy's blood on her clothes.

"That was not necessary."  
"I know. But I see you get tormented every day and I got—well, annoyed," Nakai sighed. "I too experience this kind of treatment, so I know what it feels like. I did not want anyone else to feel that way."  
"You should not let anyone influence your emotions."  
"I cannot help it. It is—hard."

The only Vulcans that knew of Nakai's true heritage were the members of the High Council and Laanni. She preferred to keep it that way.

"You need not hide it. My father has told me about your true heritage." Nakai let out a long sigh. "He is on the High Council."  
"Then he should know better than to divulge privileged information," Nakai said. "Forget what he has told you."  
"You do not have to worry," the boy said. "While it was unnecessary, I am grateful for what you just did for me. I am in your debt, and your secret is safe with me."

Nakai gave the boy a sceptical look.

"Your scepticism is unnecessary. I give you my word."

The girl let out a sigh.

"Fine. I believe you."  
"Good," the boy said, extending his hand. Nakai nearly laughed—it was such a human gesture. "I am Spock."  
"And I am Nakai."

* * *

Nakai and Spock became quite good friends, and it was hard to find them apart after they'd first met. The bullies rarely came to bother them after Nakai had punched one of them in the nose, and Stravik had stopped provoking Nakai after learning that her new friend was the son of someone on the council—clearly, he preferred staying in his father's good graces. However, no matter how many people stopped antagonising the two friends, there were always more that showed up to fill in those shoes. While Spock had remained the more level-headed of the two and tried to get out of confrontations civilly, Nakai remained as volatile as she'd always been. She continued to defend her friend—physically if necessary—but she always seemed to get out of trouble with a well-placed word from Spock to Strevek and Laanni.

Strevek was more than pleased that Nakai had Spock for a friend. While he'd initially volunteered to take Nakai as his ward to study the way her half-Romulan mind would adapt to the Vulcan way of life, he would be lying if he denied having somehow grown attached to her. Seeing her enjoying her time with Spock was nothing but a confirmation, as he never thought he'd ever care about the girl's personal happiness in the slightest. While he would never say this out loud, both Laanni and Nakai had noticed. 

However, sometimes Nakai resented it. She resented the growing attachment she felt towards Strevek and Laanni because somehow it felt as though she was betraying her mother. And she feared the day that she'd completely forget about T'Sath altogether. Laanni kept reassuring her that that would never be the case, but Nakai could feel it. With every passing month, Nakai could feel her attachment to her mother dim like the emotions she was suppressing.

"Your mother was Vulcan, Nakai," Laanni said, as she and Nakai drank tea together in their sitting room. "She would understand."  
"Yes, but I am not my mother," Nakai sighed. "I can feel these emotions slip away, I can feel my love for her slip away."  
"Nakai, you may be suppressing your emotions, but that does not mean that those emotions go away. You will still hold love for T'Sath even when you learn to fully suppress them."  
"It does not feel that way. I feel like I am abandoning her."  
"You are not abandoning her. Think of it this way." Laanni put her cup of tea down and sat next to Nakai. "Your mother gave her life so that you could live here on Vulcan. She knew that if she got her wish, that your emotions would change. Do you not think that your growing attachment to us, to Spock—do you think your mother would resent it?"  
"No, I don't think so."  
"Then do not think any more of it. As long as you are happy, I am sure your mother would be as well."


	3. Starfleet

The sun was beating down on Vulcan, as it did every afternoon. The thousands of people roaming the cities, clad in pale linen shawls and scarves, welcomed the heat and sipped on cooled redspice tea. The sandstorms roared in the distance, lightning echoing faintly in the city, and the gentle wind tousled the ornate banners hanging in the streets. And while most households were leisurely spending their weekend indoors, Strevek and Laanni's household was doing anything but that.

Years had passed since Nakai had first arrived to Vulcan, and she was quite unrecognisable. No longer was she the small wounded child that refused to eat, and while the scars and burn marks still littered her body, Nakai was strong now, well-versed in the martial arts of the people who'd taken her in. Her mind was sharp, sharper than many of those her age, and she'd become well-respected by even those who despised her. One thing that hadn't changed, despite having mastered her emotions, was that Nakai remained a passionate individual.

It seemed that this passion partially stemmed from Spock. A few years ago, he'd refused his invitation to the Vulcan Science Academy and joined Starfleet, something that Nakai had always endeavoured to do. She'd made it a point not to apply to the Vulcan Science Academy, and it seemed to irk Strevek, but Laanni couldn't have been prouder—Nakai only hoped that it would have made her mother proud, as well. The only problem—she was Romulan.

"It is out of the question, Nakai," Strevek said. "You cannot enlist in Starfleet."  
"I am sure, _a'nirih_ , that if you send a letter of recommendation for me on behalf of the Vulcan High Council that they will see reason," Nakai argued.  
"It is not so simple. These Humans are not as open-minded as us. The second that they see your genetic makeup they will arrest you, and treat you as Romulan."  
"Who says that they have to see my genetic makeup?"

Strevek looked at her.

"Are you suggesting lying to the Federation?"  
"I am only suggesting a small alteration of data," Nakai corrected. "It will do more good than harm. Would I not be a capable Starship Officer?"  
"Yes. You would. But I cannot permit this."  
"I was not asking for your permission, _a'nirih_. I was merely warning you. I have already been accepted as a cadet, and _m'aih_ has already agreed to send Starfleet the documents."  
"Sometimes I wonder if I even managed to suppress any of the Romulan in you."

Nakai looked down at her feet.

"I cannot allow this. You would lie your way into Starfleet?"  
"Yes."  
"But then you have not truly earned the right to be there."  
"I have only applied," Nakai said with a sigh. "The measure of my worth to Starfleet will be earned as I attend. They need not know the circumstances in which I have come to them. It is irrelevant."  
"And you ask that Laanni and I take part in this?" Strevek asked.  
"It is the only way, _a'nirih_. Where else would I go?"  
"The Vulcan Science Academy."  
"It is quite difficult to resist laughter when you say things like this," Nakai said. "No one here respects me, _a'nirih_. Not even your son. How do you think I would be treated?"

Strevek said nothing.

"Like a Romulan," Nakai insisted. "If I go to Starfleet, and yes, I would get in by lying, no one would see a Romulan. They would see a Vulcan. The Vulcan you raised me to be, _a'nirih_."  
"You are too sentimental for a Vulcan," Strevek said.

Nakai resisted a smile.

"Will you help me?"  
"It goes against every fibre of my being, but I will write the letter on behalf of the Vulcan High Council."

The young Vulcan couldn't help it this time. A small smile broke through her stern facade.

"Thank you, _a'nirih_."  
"Did you involve Spock in this?" Strevek asked in an off-hand comment.  
"Of course, I did."  
"Nakai!"  
"Bye, _a'nirih_!"

Nakai dashed out of the kitchen and found Spock in the hallway. He'd returned to Vulcan for the summer holidays and somehow had gotten himself involved in Nakai's scheming. He couldn't say he was disappointed in having her join Starfleet, tough—the somewhat amused look on his face was indication enough.

"I do not know how you managed to convince them."  
"Sentiment, Spock," Nakai replied honestly. "Now I must see my mother about those tests."  
"You have decided on how to alter your scans and life signs?"  
"Yes. The logical choice is to make them as similar to yours as possible. After all, humans are the only known race compatible with Vulcans."  
"That is logical, yes."  
"After this, I will officially be able to undergo Academy Entrance Exams!" Nakai said rather happily. "It sounds far less exciting than it actually is."  
"You'll find that it isn't much more exciting than the statement you just made," Spock said. "I spent most of my time studying."  
"Yes, well, I plan on making friends, too, Spock."

* * *

With her hands clasped behind her back, Nakai watched the sunrise outside her window. The sky was swirling with yellows, oranges and reds, and she gradually felt the sun warm her as it rose and bathed the sandy coloured buildings in a warm golden glow. Down in the maze of the buildings, thousands of Vulcan men and women were going about their business already, adorned with linen that still amazed Nakai even after fourteen years. She could smell Laanni's redspice bread from her room, and it was the only thing that brought Nakai from her room. She would have stayed there for hours, looking over the walls that had been her cocoon for years, but today was her last day home.

"Did you sleep well?" Laanni asked as Nakai entered the kitchen. 

Strevek was already seated, sipping on what smelled like plomeek broth. Stravik was nowhere to be found, and Nakai was pleased about that. 

"Yes, as always," Nakai said. "Is there anything I might do to assist you, _m'aih_?"  
"Not at all, _tal-kam_. It is your last day. Sit, please."

Stravik did not make an appearance for the entire duration of breakfast, and Nakai could not complain. It was nice, for once, to enjoy a meal alone with her parents. Yes, they were her parents. It had been fourteen years since Nakai had escaped the mines on Remus, and while her biological mother's sacrifice would always be remembered, she could barely recall anything about her—not her face, not her voice. Laanni and Strevek had been the parents who raised her, took care of her and taught her everything that made her the Vulcan she was today. 

A knock on the door brought Nakai out of her dreaming. A little fear rose inside of her, but she choked it down just as soon as it appeared. She rose from her seat, ushering her mother back to hers, and opened the door. It was Spock. Nakai took a deep breath and nodded once—he didn't need to say why he was here. She invited him in and left him in the kitchen with her parents to fetch her bags upstairs. Spock took them from her when she returned downstairs and said he'd wait outside.

"I suppose this is farewell," Nakai said, turning to her parents.  
"Yes, but it is not forever, _tal-kam_ ," Laanni said. "We will visit, and so will you."

Nakai's eyes began welling up with tears. She tried blinking them back but to no avail. They slid gently down her face and silently fell to the floor.

"I apologise for my display of emotion, _a'nirih_ ," Nakai muttered. "I did not expect leaving to be so difficult."  
"I think for today," Strevek said gently, "I can forgive this transgression."

A small choked up cry made its way up to Nakai's mouth, and a few more tears escaped her eyes. She stepped forward to embrace her parents, and they held each other for longer than most Vulcans did. When Nakai took a step back she wiped away her tears and collected herself, then rose her hand in the traditional Vulcan way.

"Live long and prosper."

* * *

** Iowa, United States of America, Earth, Sector 001 **

Today was Nakai's first time on Earth, and it was like an alien world. Spock said it was even more so in this area, as people still rode horses, drove hundred-year-old cars, and owned antique weapons called shotguns. It was dusty and warm, but not the same warmth that she had on Vulcan, and the dust got into places and stuck there like parasites—she'd find sand in her shoes days later. When the town's tour was over, and the commanding officers directed the cadets back to the shuttle, Nakai was relieved. Leaving the bigger part of the city and going to the countryside was welcome—so was the cleaner air. It stretched before her like a great quilt of golden, brown and green squares held together by the thick stitching of hedgerows. She and the other cadets watched the hills roll like giant waves on a gentle ocean, and she listened in to the sparse conversation going on around her. Everyone seemed to be talking about a local pub.

The cadets were dropped off at base, where the newly commissioned Starship Enterprise had begun construction. It was filled with people of all races and colours, as well as sounds that Nakai wanted to hear for the rest of her life. Most of the cadets filed over to their temporary quarters to get acquainted with their roommates, but Nakai continued to wander until she found Spock, who was speaking with another few of his fellow officers.

"Cadet," he greeted as she passed.  
"Commander," she returned politely.

Nakai was about to continue wandering when someone else spoke.

"Another Vulcan? Starfleet is spoiling us."  
"What's your major Cadet?"  
"Security and Tactics," Nakai answered, turning back to face Spock's company. "As well as Multidisciplinary Physics and Probability Mechanics, sir."  
"Ambitious, ambitious. Think you can handle it, Cadet?"  
"I am Vulcan, sir. If there was an option for more classes, I would have taken it."

The two men laughed.

"She's confident, all right."  
"Yes. Though, Security and Tactics is an odd choice for a Vulcan, don't you think?"  
"Not at all, sir," Nakai said, a little confused. "Vulcans have superior reflexes and strength than of humans. It is only natural for me to seek a career in which I can excel. Of course, I do understand your reasoning. _I_ _t is_ a more common assumption that Vulcans will join the Sciences division like Commander Spock."  
"Well, I'll be—she's got snark, too."  
"If you'll excuse me." Nakai lightly inclined her head to both men, then to her friend. "Commander Spock."  
"That area will soon be off-limits, Cadet," Spock said, as Nakai resumed her wandering.  
"Then maybe I will go to this... pub the other cadets have spoken of."

Spock rose and eyebrow.

"For what purpose?"  
"Cultural studies, I suppose."

* * *

The bar was hundreds of conversations told in loud voices, each one trying to compete with the equally loud rock music that dominated the atmosphere. Nakai hadn't planned on going to this dive bar initially, but maybe she could learn something about inebriated humans while she was here. Perhaps find a little entertainment as well. The crowd was young, much like herself, composed of students from nearby and the rest of the new recruits heading up to the testing area tomorrow. The smoke above her head twisted in its artistic way, forming curls in the gloom, illuminated only by the age-speckled bar lights. Along the walls was every hue of amber liquid in their inverted bottles, liquids that the Vulcan teachings of Surak told her she wasn't permitted to enjoy. She winded her way through the warm bodies and to the bar - the dark local beer seemed to be a favourite, looking around the room. 

As she approached the bar, the bartender asked if she wanted a drink. Nakai hesitated for a moment.

"She'll take redspice tea. On me."

The bartender nodded and began busying himself. Nakai turned to the stranger beside her. He was a local, and clearly a proud one at that. Nakai rose an eyebrow at him and looked at him coldly. He didn't seem deterred at all. When the tea arrived she thanked the bartender and went to pay him, but the stranger tossed money at him instead.

"Told you—it's on me."  
"I appreciate the gesture, but I am fully capable of purchasing my own beverages."

Nakai took a sip of her tea. It was good, but could never compare to her mother's.

"It's weird seeing a Vulcan let loose."  
"Let loose? Need I remind you that this is tea?"  
"Then order a proper drink," the man said with a smile. "Again, it's on me."  
"I'm afraid all that would allow me to 'let loose' is illegal."

The man let out a small laugh.

"Wow, a Vulcan that jokes. Am I really this drunk?"  
"It is safe to say that you are, sir."  
"Did you just— _sir_? _Sir?!_ "

Nakai rose an eyebrow at him, amused.

"The name's Kirk. Jim. Jim Kirk. That's me."  
"I am Nakai. I'm afraid that even sober my full name would be unpronounceable to you."

Jim made a noise that suggested he didn't believe her. Instead, he quickly looked her up and down.

"So, Cadet—what's your major?"  
"Security and Tactical Command," Nakai answered, sipping the last of her tea. "That and Multidisciplinary Physics and Probability Mechanics."  
"Triple major—that's ambitious. Think you can handle it?" Kirk asked.  
"That is the second time someone has asked me that today. Is it an inherent feature in men to doubt the capabilities of a Vulcan woman?"  
"Not me. I was wondering why you weren't taking on more."  
"They would not let me."

Kirk laughed and knocked back his drink. He was about to speak again when something caught his eye. He excused himself and went over to another woman. Nakai shook her head. If he thought Nakai was hard to get close to, then Cadet Uhura wouldn't be better. While Nakai was a cold wall, Uhura was fire. She'd burn him quicker than he could woo her. She thanked the bartender for the tea again, and went to leave, but just as she stood, a cadet flew straight to her feet.

With a long sigh, Nakai pulled up the cadet and sat him on a stool. When she turned, another cadet was flying straight at her. She swerved out of the way and let the cadet crash into the other. On the other side of the bar, Kirk was fighting off a third cadet and was clearly losing. He got hauled over the cadet's shoulder and thrown across the room, once again, at Nakai's feet. He looked up and smiled, to which Nakai replied with a legendary Vulcan eye-roll. She helped him up, dusted him off, and shoved him behind her as the other cadet ran at her.

"All right, super-strong Vulcan on my side."

She held up her hand and he stopped flat. Nakai nodded over to the door, and when the cadet looked over, she swiped her fist at him. When it collided, he fell several feet away and onto the ground. The two other stunned cadets came at her, and as she tossed them over her shoulder, a loud whistle sounded. The second cadet she was throwing was dropped immediately and fell directly onto Kirk. Both of them fell with a thump, but Nakai was too busy saluting to concern herself with them. Christopher Pike had entered the bar, and he did not look pleased.

"Outside. All of you. Now."

Nakai nodded and went to follow everyone outside, but she hesitated for a moment. Instead, she turned around helped Kirk to his feet once again. Her eyebrows twitched, a small indication of a forming frown—his nose was all bloody and his left eye swollen. 

"Kirk, are you all right?"  
"Yeah, just peachy."  
"Cadet," Pike repeated from beside Nakai. "Outside. Leave him to me."  
"Yes, sir."

Nakai shot Kirk one last glanced before exiting the bar herself. She hoped that Captain Pike wouldn't be too harsh on him. However, to Nakai's surprise, she saw Kirk the next morning at dawn. James T. Kirk came waltzing to her side, winking at the cadets who'd beat him up the night prior.

"Morning, Cadet," he said jokingly.  
"You have enlisted in Starfleet?" Nakai asked, genuinely surprised. "You did not strike me as that sort of man."  
"Pike dared me to do it."  
"Now _that_ I can believe."


	4. Preparation

**Starfleet Base, Iowa**

"It's six weeks straight?"  
"Precisely."  
"That's our entire summer! The hell are we going to be doing?"  
"It is approximately five weeks of preparation for four days of examination, during which time we will be tested for stress reaction, spatial orientation and deductive reasoning."  
"Sounds like a party."  
"Then you and I surely have different definitions of the word 'party.'"

It was under the brilliant sun that Nakai and Jim Kirk made their way towards Starfleet's base, but they wouldn't be seeing much of it for the rest of the summer. Starfleet's requirements for acceptance were strict, and for the next six weeks, all new applicants had to undergo rigorous preparation and testing in order to even be permitted to take the entrance exam, to screen out anyone who would never even dream of passing it. Nakai had no worry that she would succeed, but she worried for Kirk. So far, he hadn't seemed like the most studious of people, nor did he seem serious enough to even try hard to succeed, and even though she'd only known the troublemaker for a few days, Nakai would be lying if she said she wouldn't be disappointed if she had to be separated from him. His humour and nonchalant attitude were quite amusing.

Throughout the weeks, there were just as many scheduled tests as there were surprise ones, and so far both Nakai and Kirk were doing well. They did well on hyperspace physics and dynamic relations testing, as well as scenarios of command and tactical situations. Jim had a tendency to do things his own way, which Nakai would sometimes qualify as cheating, but they both proved to be good in testing and they remained together until the end of their testing. When the four days of testing arrived, they were separated. Initially, Nakai and Kirk were both disappointed. However, Nakai was pleased in the end, for the examiners had told her that only one person per testing group would be able to go on to take the Academy Entrance Exam—that meant she and Jim had a chance to make it together. 

The initial tests were simple enough. She was being tested on areas of her applied majors, as well as a few other topics that interrelated with Tactics and Security. Nakai went through tactical analysis and basic tactical training quite easily, and the operations, makeup and functions of weapons, both from Starfleet and other cultures, was a favourite area of study. Probability Mechanics stimulated her mind in and out of testing situations, mostly in her free time, much to Jim's chagrin. He preferred going out to the bar they met at, have a few drinks and, as Nakai suspected, get into more trouble.

There was one test, however, that made Nakai feel illogically anxious. It was the final test, and according to Nakai's superior officers and instructors, it could happen at any moment of the fourth day of examination. The famously dreaded Starfleet Psychological Test was nearly a fable, with dozens and dozens of accounts of applicants losing their resolve or experiencing their worst fears. Nakai was not eager to go through either situation.

"You seem nervous," Kirk asked, as he and Nakai were wandering the halls.  
"I cannot _be_ nervous, Jim," Nakai said. "I am Vulcan. Those kinds of emotions are—"  
"Suppressed, I know. Still. I know what I'm seeing."  
"Jim, that—"

Nakai had turned to face Kirk, but when she did he'd vanished from thin air. 

"Jim? I hope that this is not another of your practical jokes," she said aloud. "This is hardly humorous."

The Vulcan's eyebrows furrowed. The halls were silent, there was no one in close proximity to her. When she took a few steps forward to examine her surroundings, Nakai's name was called over the Base's intercom.

"Cadet Nakai to the main office, please. Cadet Nakai to the main office."  
"Curious," Nakai muttered to herself. "Quite curious."

Nakai's curiosity led her to the Base's main office. The blinds had been closed, all other chairs were pushed against the walls and the only exit seemed to be the one she came through. Two bodies lay inert on the ground. Nakai checked their pulses immediately—there was no heartbeat. She rose and looked over to the main desk. Someone was sitting in that chair, turned away from the entrance to hide his face. If anything were to happen, Nakai would most likely have the disadvantage. Curiosity was soon replaced with anxiousness, or at least enough of it for the Vulcan to notice and attempt to suppress it. Nakai did not like that she could not see the person who had called her to the main office.

"Cadet Nakai reporting to the main office, Sir," she said, taking another few steps into the room.  
" _Aefvadh Eredh_."

Nakai's breath hitched in her throat. 

"Pardon?"   
" _Au daevirel Rihannha hhaonn?_ "  
"I will not speak to you in such a tongue."

From behind the chair came a laugh that worried Nakai even more, and it was taking more and more effort to keep her emotions in check. 

"Is that how you speak to a superior?"  
"You are not my superior," Nakai said through gritted teeth. "And I have no desire to remain in your presence."  
" _Sthea'hwill aehfvi_!"  
"I will not comply."  
" _Vang'radam!_ "  
"I am no traitor," Nakai stated. "Had I believed this charade, I would have been—a traitor to the Federation. Not to you."

Nakai's body relaxed when the voice did not respond. The lights came back on and the chair behind the main desk swivelled around to reveal a man in Starfleet uniform. He rose and walked out of the room, wordlessly, as did the two seemingly deceased officers that were on the ground. Nakai followed and was met with a few other officers upon her exit, including Kirk.

"Congratulations, Cadet."  
"That was the test," Nakai noted. One of her eyebrows rose. "It was not as dreadful as other Cadets made it seem."  
"You only say that because you passed," the superior officer said. "You and Cadet Kirk will be free to take the Starfleet Entrance Exam next week. I suggest you prepare."

With a pointed look at Kirk, the other officers left. Jim clapped Nakai on the back and smiled.

"All right, Kai! We're going to Starfleet together!"  
"We need to pass the Entrance Exam first, Jim," Nakai said. She too gave Kirk a pointed look and walked away. "And do not call me Kai. It is not my name."  
"Dude, it's a nickname—means I like you."  
"Very well," Nakai said with a sigh. "But do not give me any other unsavoury nicknames. I am well aware of the name you have given Cadet Wilson."  
"He loves the name Willy."  
"Doubtful."

* * *

The leaves of the trees in the Testing Facility's gardens had their first autumnal blush, and though the sidewalks were wet from last night's rain the clear blue sky above promised no more. In an hour or so, the paths would be dry and the leaves would spring up, their water weight gone. But Nakai would not be there to enjoy it, as Starfleet's Entrance Exam would be in progress. She had forced Jim through a week's worth of study and heard more complaining than she'd ever heard in her lifetime, but Nakai knew he'd end up thanking her. Or at least, she hoped. 

"We're going to nail this," he said as they both walked down to the Testing Facility. Many other Cadets were heading in the same direction, each one of them clad in their red uniforms. "Well, at least I'm going to nail this."  
"You're doubting me?" Nakai asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jim smiled and winked. With a roll of her eyes, Nakai walked ahead, and a chuckling Jim followed her into the facility. Everyone would be taking the exam together, in spite of different majors, and due to the number of applicants, a lot of the Cadets needed to wait until an examination room was empty for the next round of testing to occur. Jim and Nakai were part of the slew of Cadets waiting to be tested. 

The silence in the room was almost oppressive, and Jim was finding it hard to sit still. Instead, he roamed around the room, looking around at people—more specifically the women. After all of Nakai's nagging and multiple rejections, you would have thought he'd have learned this was a horrible way to pick up women. 

Nakai shook her head disapprovingly and sank back into her seat. She picked up a physics journal from the small table beside her and began reading, subtly keeping an eye on her friend until he came back. He dropped down into his chair, a cocky smile on his face.

"It worked. Proved you wrong."  
"It serves no purpose to prove me wrong, Jim," Nakai said, turning a page in the science journal.  
"I know, it's just fun."

A loud noise brought Nakai from her reading and Jim from his prowling. A room was being cleared, and one of the applicants coming out didn't seem too pleased. He seemed older than most applicants, who were around Nakai's age, but most notably, quite annoyed.

"I don't need a doctor, dammit! I _am_ a doctor!" he said, crossing the room in a huff. A few security officers were walking beside him. "And I'm telling you, that woman didn't bite me hard enough to require medical treatmen—would you quit it!?"

Nakai watched as he disappeared through the doors at the end of the room, an eyebrow raised, and then the rest of the Cadets file out behind him. She shot a glance at Jim, who looked mildly amused.

"I don't know who he is, but I like him. Seems fun."  
"I do not know if fun is the appropriate word, Jim," Nakai said, tossing the journal back onto the table.  
"Testing room number five is available for the next group of Cadets!"

Nakai and Jim waited for their names to be called and then proceeded to the exam room. They were seated in rows in front of small screens and without much space in between. This explained the numerous officers lining the walls, most likely there to spot anyone attempting to cheat. Nakai found them unnecessary, surely they weren't going to put two students of the same major right next to each other. However, it seemed that the seat choice was free to be chosen, so Jim and Nakai sat beside each other and waited for the others to do the same. The official test supervisor then gave a few instructions and quite a few strict rules, then announced that the candidates had two hours to complete the test. 

"Good luck," Jim whispered.  
"I do not need luck."


	5. Admiral Adversary

Hours had gone by and Nakai was still no closer to finishing the Starfleet Entrance Exam. Some questions had been easy to answer, but most of them required a fair amount of reasoning or calculations and even though she was Vulcan, Nakai was having issues. Biomechanics hadn't been an area of particular interest nor study—and yet the past three questions had been on that topic. She couldn't possibly imagine how the others were fairing, especially Jim beside her. He looked very focused but he didn't seem to be answering anything which concerned her. Hopefully, he would be able to make it through the exam at least.

It wasn't until another hour had passed that Nakai could ask him about it, just like every other cadet exiting the examination room when the time allotted for the exam ran out. Chatter filled the halls, as did a few frantic cries of despair, and from what Nakai could hear, most people found the exam quite challenging.

"Well, that was painful," Jim stated.  
"I do admit that certain aspects of the exam required more attention than others," Nakai said.  
"Is that your way of saying it was hard?"  
"It is my way of saying I expected it to be quicker."

Jim chuckled.

"Well, now we've got the rest of the day off!" he said excitedly. "Come on - I gotta take you to the pub."  
"Jim—"  
"It's to celebrate! Don't Vulcans celebrate?"  
"Yes. By quietly meditating and contemplating why we have reached success."

Jim rolled his eyes and grabbed Nakai by the wrist. She would have resisted, but it felt wrong to deny him a celebration after he successfully completed an admittedly difficult exam. Therefore, she let Jim drag her all the way to the bustling confines of the Warp Trail bar. They moved to the bar as easily as the smoke, taking in the laughter and the smiles, the dancing couples and friends, and the loud music that kept a solid beat.

"Give me your strongest alcohol," Jim declared once at the bar. The bartender rose his eyebrow at him. "It's not for me it's for her."  
"Jim, I do not drink," Nakai said with a sigh.  
"You don't drink by choice, not because of your culture."  
"Yes. Most Vulcans don't drink because we are spared the dubious effects of alcohol," Nakai said, sitting down at the bar. "Even if I wanted to drink, I cannot be drunk. Therefore, I cannot find any logical reason to drink when I cannot experience its sole purpose."

Jim turned to the bartender and gave him a look. He sighed and left for a moment, returning with two bottles that Nakai couldn't see through. She raised an eyebrow as the bartender uncorked the first one, and poured her a small glass of a ruby red liquid.

"Klingon Bloodwine?"   
"Tell me if you can feel this," Jim said, handing her the small drink.  
"With this small a quantity, I doubt it," Nakai said almost disdainfully.

The bartender laughed and pulled out a bigger glass, and tipped the first one inside, then filled it up halfway.

"This better?" he said.  
"I do not know. I have never had Klingon Bloodwine before. However, I have been told that it has twice the potency of an Earth whiskey."  
"Come on, Kai—do it!" Jim said, pulling out a small Starfleet issue PADD. "I need to record this momentous event in history."  
"You are a child," Nakai said with a sigh.

Jim disregarded her remark and turned on the video recorder, staring at her with an eager smile. Nakai rolled her eyes and brought the drink to her lips. The acrid smell of the alcohol went straight to her nose, and the burn was felt all the way down her throat, but she felt no effects after one sip and Klingon Bloodwine was notoriously strong. Against her better judgement, Nakai downed the entire drink, and while the alcohol burned immensely, it was a sensation that she could get used to. 

"And?" Jim asked.

Nakai turned to the camera, stoic.

"Nothing."  
"Damn it. Ben—do the other one."

Ben, who had somehow gotten quite invested in this little experiment, eagerly brought out the other bottle and poured a small amount of bright blue liquid. Nakai knew immediately what it was. Not only was the blue colour quite distinct, but she remembered seeing it in the hands of the officers back on Romulus who'd drink it just prove that they could. If there was one thing that Nakai knew could get her inebriated, it was this.

"I am _not_ drinking this."  
"'Cause it's illegal? Come on, Kai—"  
"No, Jim, it is not because it is illegal," Nakai said calmly, coming to a stand. "Thank you, Ben, for putting up with him. I apologise for wasting your time and your liquor."

Nakai turned and left, and walked through the smoke and the haze until she found the fresh evening air. She sighed loudly and ran her hands down her face. The Vulcan composed herself again when Jim emerged as well.

"You all right?"  
"Yes, I am quite all right, Jim," Nakai said rather impatiently.  
"Yeah, I doubt that," Jim stated, standing in front of the Vulcan. "You're always going on about controlling your emotions or whatever—"  
"It was the Romulan Ale."

Jim gave her a confused look. She sighed and pulled him aside in the alley beside the bar. It took her a few moments to speak. Nakai had always been very private about her personal life, and it irked her that she had to reveal certain details after being presented with Romulan Ale of all things. Sometimes she could still smell the stale drink on her father's breath.

"I did not always live on Vulcan," Nakai said quietly. "Before my escape, I lived in a mining colony on Remus."  
"Wait—Oh, shit. Did I just—"  
"Jim, you did not know. It was illogical of me to hide it from you in the first place."  
"What, no, come on Kai! You've got a right to hide things like that," Jim said, a little frantic. "You were—I mean, you know—"  
"The word you are refusing to use is slave," Nakai stated.

He sighed and gently grabbed Nakai by the shoulders.

"I'm sorry."  
"Fascinating," Nakai said, looking directly at Jim's face. "You are capable of apologising."

Jim groaned and rolled his eyes, and released his hold on Nakai.

"Vulcans..." he sighed. "Are you good, though?"  
"Yes, do not worry."  
"Good. Because we're still celebrating."  
"I think not."

Both friends turned to their left. Someone was walking down into the alley. Nakai didn't know who they were, but by their rank insignias, she could tell they were a Commander of some kind. Nakai saluted immediately, and Jim lazily followed.

"Cadet Nakai, please follow me."  
"Might I inquire as to why?"  
"The Academy advisor would like to speak with you."  
"Yeah, but why?" Jim asked.  
"It's nothing that concerns you, Cadet Kirk," the man said.   
"It is a valid question," Nakai said. "I do not see why the Advisor would wish to speak to me after hours."

The Commander looked annoyed.

"All I am permitted to say here is that it concerns your family."

Nakai stiffened.

"Very well," Nakai said. "Jim, I will see you tomorrow. Do not celebrate too much."  
"Yeah, sure."

The Vulcan appreciated the concern on Jim's face, but she wished that he didn't worry. More than that, she wished that he wouldn't follow and eavesdrop. If there was one thing that Nakai wanted no one to know, was the fact that she wasn't half-Human, but half-Romulan—especially Jim Kirk, considering he was her only friend aside from Spock. Who knows how he'd react to her being not only a Romulan slave but a Romulan herself.

Nakai followed the Commander down the road and through the grounds of the training facility until they made it into the Academic advisor's office. He exited as soon as he'd gotten there, leaving Nakai alone with not just the Academic advisor, but a few other Starfleet officers and Admirals which included the Head of Starfleet himself, Alexander Marcus.

"Cadet Nakai, yes?" Admiral Marcus asked.  
"Yes, sir," Nakai said, saluting.  
"At ease, Cadet. Please, sit."

Nakai relaxed and sat down in front of all the personnel. If she were human, this would be making her nervous. However, this was making her irritated. She knew exactly why she was here, and she didn't want to have to through it.

"How are you finding all these exams?"  
"Not much more difficult than I expected them to be," Nakai said. "I am eager to receive my results next week."  
"Good, good..." the Admiral said absently. He looked over on a nearby screen. "Look, Cadet, I'm going to cut to the chase here. I'm sure, as a Vulcan, you'd appreciate it if I didn't waste your time."

Nakai would have said yes to anyone else other than him. She knew better.

"I'm concerned about the documents you used to apply to Starfleet."  
"How so?"  
"We've encountered the same problem a few years ago when Commander Spock applied to Starfleet. His medical files and such sparked a bit of curiosity," Admiral Marcus said. "You've sent your own medical documents, and again we're having issues with the registration of your life signs."  
"Have you compared them to the scans of Commander Spock?" Nakai asked.  
"No, we haven't."  
"Might I suggest doing so? Commander Spock and I might be different individuals, but seeing as we are both Vulcan-Human hybrids, you will find that our medical files will be quite similar. Surely all your inquiries will be answered with the comparison."

A few members in the room hummed in agreement, but it didn't seem to affect Admiral Marcus at all.

"I'd like to ask you to retake your medical tests at the Academy."

Nakai looked from the others to Admiral Marcus, and though her expression hadn't changed she was panicking on the inside. For some reason, he knew. Nakai had changed her vital signs to register just like Spock's, with a few variables off just to distinguish them as two separate people. It was technically impossible for him to know what she'd done. They couldn't even search for tampering—the Vulcan Science Council sent the data themselves. Nakai had completely thought this through, and she would be damned if she thought a simple Human could dupe a Vulcan.

"Do you doubt the legitimacy of the Vulcan Science Council's data?" Nakai asked, feigning offence.   
"No, I don't," Admiral Marcus said, looking defensive.  
"Then why is it you ask that I retake the tests?"

Admiral Marcus sighed. 

"Very well. We will compare your vital scans to those of Commander Spock's," he said. "Should we have any other questions you _will_ be available for testing."  
"Admiral, forgive me, but it sounds as though you are implying that the Vulcan Science Council has sent you false data."

Immediately, the faces of all the officials went from calm to nervous. Implying that a large government body of the United Federation of Planets was lying was an offence that usually started wars, or at least caused severe tensions between nations. Marcus' face remained unchanged, but Nakai could tell by the look in his eyes that he'd reached an impasse.

"I apologise, Cadet," the Admiral said. "I meant no offence."  
"There was none taken, Admiral," Nakai said.   
"Should we need additional information we will contact you and then decide how to proceed. Dismissed."

Nakai nodded once and stood, then saluted before exiting the office. She walked quickly, wanting nothing more than to be as far away from that office as possible. Halfway down the corridor, she made the mistake of pausing, and her legs gave out underneath her. She caught herself on the wall pretty quickly and slid down it until she was crouching. Nakai took a deep breath to steady her breathing and impulsively punched the wall—the meeting had affected her more than she'd liked, and her heart was beating faster than it had in a very long time.

"Get up, Nakai," she muttered in her Vulcan tongue. " _Get up_."

Nakai stood, a harsh sigh coming out through her nose. She was annoyed with herself for succumbing to her emotions so much, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now. Instead, she focused on keeping her calm like she used to and suppressed the fear and the anger that bubbled up in the face of the Admiral. She hadn't expected to develop an adversary this early in her journey through Starfleet, but there was nothing she could do now. From here on out, Nakai would have to be careful—the head of Starfleet himself was out to get her.


	6. Beginning

"Kai! Kai! Kai!"  
"Jim, what are you doing in my dorm room?"  
"Dude, we made it!"  
"It is currently six in the morning, why are you awake?"  
"Hacking into the Academy's records."  
"James Tiberius Kirk."  
"Oh, come on, don't middle name me! We're in! We passed the exam!"

Nakai rolled over, tangled in her blankets. She stared at Jim for a moment, before abruptly sitting up in bed. Her hair was a mess, half tangled in itself and in her ears, and she could barely see through it. Disregarding her less than decent attire, she pushed her hair out of her face and stood, rushing over to Jim to pull the PADD out of his hands.

"That's a look," Jim said, looking Nakai up and down.  
"Under normal circumstances, I'd reprimand you for hacking—"  
"Well, bribing, actually. There was this _really_ cute officer—"  
"I do _not_ want to know," Nakai interrupted, still focused on the PADD. "Fascinating. You got a higher scored than I expected. Of course, I have obtained a near-perfect score."  
"Okay, rude," Jim said, walking around the room. He picked up a pillow on Nakai's bed and tossed it at her. "Come on, Whiz Kid, get dressed—we've got to register for the flight tomorrow."  
"Do not call me a _Whiz Kid_."  
"Get your scrawny ass into some pants and let's go!" Jim called as he exited the room.

Nakai rose an eyebrow at him. She turned towards her mirror and checked herself out.

"Who is he calling scrawny?"

* * *

**Riverside Shipyard, Iowa**

The world was as silent. The sun was still resolutely below the horizon and the street was dark, only lit by the occasional street lamp of an old town. The sound of Jim Kirk's motorcycle was the only thing Nakai could hear, but it was pleasant, especially considering that it was the sound of them travelling to the shuttles that'd take them to Starfleet Academy in San Francisco. Nakai held on tight to Jim, hair whipping backwards like a cloud of black smoke. In this light, the Riverside shipyard she was staring at in the distance looked even more impressive, especially the construction of the newest flagship.

By the time that they'd reached the shipyard, the sun had begun rising. Hues of lavender and vermillion painted the sky, and as the sounds of Jim's motorcycle died down, the sounds of people began to rise. He parked his bike in some random spot and tossed the keys to a man who'd complimented his ride, and the two friends walked through the shipyard all the way to the shuttles. Despite her outward appearance, Nakai was energized—excited. The buzzing sounds of chatter and laughter of the future of Starfleet lit up her mind, and it took a lot of self-control not to smile.

"You look like you're about to burst," Jim commented, giving Nakai a fond look.  
"I am not _about to burst_ , Jim," Nakai said with a small sigh. "I am simply... pleased."  
"Uh-huh."

He knowingly looked at his friend and she offered him nothing but an unimpressed glance. They both made their way to the shuttles, conversing with a few friends along the way. Nakai logged herself and Jim into the flight manifest while he was flirting with some woman again until Nakai forcefully dragged Jim away towards the shuttles. 

"Oh, come on, Kai—"  
"Nakai. _Na_. You are missing a syllable."  
"—the women love me, and you're depriving them of me."  
"Is this humour?"  
"You know exactly what humour is," Jim said. "Besides, you can't say that I'm not a fine specimen."  
"You are not a fine specimen," Nakai stated flatly. "There you go—fully capable."

Jim playfully smacked Nakai on the arm and pulled a face at her.

"You are childish."  
"And you are no fun."  
"I am plenty of fun."  
"Last time I told you to go out and have fun, you went to the library and studied how to calculate the expansion of black holes and its gravitational acceleration!"  
"I wouldn't expect more from a Vulcan, Kirk."

Nakai and Jim turned to the voice. It was an Andorian cadet—something just as rare as a Vulcan in the Academy. Though Nakai didn't understand why he felt the need to call her out personally, it was widely known that the Andorians and the Vulcans have shared a tumultuous history.

"What is your name, cadet?" Nakai asked.  
"Eshevaas Th'zhehret," he said proudly.  
"Well, cadet Th'zhehret, I do not think I need to remind you that the Andorian Empire and the Vulcans have been at peace for centuries. Behaviour like this reflects poorly on your people and the peace they have achieved."  
"I'm not starting a war here, Vulcan. I'm just saying—you're too stuck up."  
"The control of emotion is a part of my culture. Of course, you would not know that. Andorians do not have the capacity to control themselves."  
"I've got plenty of control!" Th'zhehret shouted.

Nakai rose and eyebrow.

"Lying to yourself will not do you any good."  
"Why you little—"

Th'zhehret took a step forward, swinging his fist upwards. However, he could never land a punch as Kirk barred him passage and dragged him away.

"All right, kids—party's over. Th'zhehret, get outta here," he said. 

Th'zhehret glared at Nakai and then marched off. Jim turned to her with a light smile.

"Couldn't you have been a little meaner?"  
"Meaner? Just because the Andorian was impolite, does not mean that I should stoop that low as well, Jim."  
"Ouch," he laughed. "You sure you're not just a really mean human with glued on ears?"  
"I am quite sure, Jim."

Nakai looked from her friend to the shuttles ahead. She almost sighed but stopped herself. Sometimes she did wish she was just like Spock, half-Human rather than half-Romulan. The Andorian knew nothing. Nakai had plenty of emotions, and even today, after twenty years of learning to control them, she still had trouble keeping them in check at times. Especially the anger.

After the altercation with the Andorian, Jim and Nakai made their way towards the shuttles. They checked with the flight officers and got their shuttle number, then proceeded to find shuttle number 42 in a sea of a hundred shuttles. It took a short while, but eventually, the shuttle was found. Jim banged his head on the low clearance beams inside the shuttle a few times, which made everyone nearby laugh. However, with one stern glance at each of them, Nakai made them stop.

They took their seats near cadet Uhura, who gave Jim a playfully annoyed smile. He still annoyed her since their first encounter, but Uhura had grown to at least respect the man. The other four cadets that he and Nakai had gotten into a fight with were seated nearby as well, and Jim made a few playful jabs at them before Nakai insisted he not antagonise them any further. She didn't want to get into another fight with them.

"All right, this is it, Kai!" Jim said, smiling.  
"For a man who did not want anything to do with Starfleet a few months ago, you seem rather excited," Nakai said, looking at her friend with a raised eyebrow.  
"Hey, I'm only excited to prove Pike wrong, remember? And you—you seem rather unimpressed, as usual."  
"On the contrary, I do not think that I have ever been happier. Starfleet was always my only choice of career."  
"Not even the Vulcan Science Academy?" Jim asked.  
"No. I find that they are far too... _stuck up_."

Jim laughed loudly. Nakai allowed herself a small smirk and sat back. Soon, the announcements in the shuttle began and halfway through the safety announcements, Nakai heard a loud noise to her left. Her head turned on instinct, and Jim's eyes followed.

"What is it?"  
"Someone is not happy."

As if on cue, a flight officer rushed out of the bathroom accompanied by a man. They were shouting at each other, and Nakai couldn't mistake that voice for anyone else even though she'd only heard it once.

"You need a doctor."  
"I keep telling you people—I don't need a doctor, damn it, I _am_ a doctor!"  
"You need to get back to your seat."  
"I had one—in the bathroom with no windows!"

Nakai raised an eyebrow at the man as he came into view. He was rather tall, with dark hair, and now that she was paying more attention, she could hear a faint southern American accent in his voice. 

The flight attendant and the man stopped in front of Jim and Nakai, who shared a look. Jim seemed amused.

"You need to get back to your seat now."  
"I suffer from aviophobia—that means the fear of dying in something that flies."  
"Sir, for your own safety, sit down or I'll make you sit down!"

The man groaned and sighed, eventually relenting in taking the seat beside Nakai.

"I may throw up on ya," the man grumbled, buckling himself in.  
"That scenario is unlikely. These shuttlecraft are designed with every safety precaution," Nakai said, eyes focused on the man. She averted her gaze when he turned to her.  
"Don't pander to me, you pointy-eared genius. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. A solar flare might crop up and cook us in our seats. And wait until you're sittin' pretty with a case of Andorian shingles—see if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped up in darkness and silence."  
"I regret to inform you that Starfleet operates in space."  
"Yeah, well, I got nowhere else to go. The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce."  
"That is illogical."

The man rolled his eyes and pulled out a flask, taking a swig of it. He looked over to Nakai and offered her his flask. She politely declined, but Jim, who'd been staring in amusement all along, reached out and took a sip.

"All I got left is my bones."  
"Jim. Jim Kirk," Jim said as he returned the flask.  
"McCoy. Leonard McCoy," the southern man said.  
"I am Nakai."  
"Just Nakai?"  
"Yes, I am afraid that my name is unpronounceable to most humans."  
"Just call her Kai—makes her ears turn red."  
"James Tiberius Kirk," Nakai said in a warning tone.  
"Oh, middle name," McCoy chuckled. "You're in trouble."


	7. Three Years Later

** Starfleet Academy, San Francisco **

There was stillness on both sides. If tension could be visible the air would have been opaque with colour. Then, suddenly, there was movement, so much force in every blow. Nakai rained blows onto her opponent as if she meant to smash him into the very earth below them. He tried to counter, to dodge, to block, but nothing was working against the over-trained Vulcan. The crowd of cadets watched on, amazed, confused, maybe a little scared, wondering how a Vulcan could fight precisely and so savagely at the same time. Nakai knew how it looked—it looked wrong. The calm and composed Vulcan inside of her knew it, but once she got into the ring there was noting telling her that. The Romulan neurons were firing, and her fists and legs followed through, going through her opponent's defences like they weren't even there until he was flat on his back and the whistle sounded.

"Good work, Cadet Nakai," the instructor said.

Nakai nodded respectfully and watched her opponent stand.

"As for you, Cadet Johnson, better luck next time."

Johnson glared at Nakai before limping out of the ring. The instructor called for another challenger to defeat Nakai, but just as Cadet O'Brian cockily rose his arm, a flag officer walked into the room and spoke with the instructor. He handed something to him and left.

"All right, hit the showers, everyone. Cadet Nakai, a word."

Nakai's eyebrows furrowed. She jumped down from the ring and went over to her instructor. He handed her a PADD and congratulated her on her work today, then exited the room, rallying up the last stragglers of the class. Nakai pressed a few things on the screen and read what was there. She nearly tossed the PADD across the room. It was the Academic Board again, and they were demanding that she retake her medical tests. For the fifth time in the three years that she was at the Academy, Nakai wrote back asking whether they'd compared her medical file to Spock's and if they were really insinuating that the Vulcan Science Council was lying. So far, that had worked in keeping them at bay, and Nakai would keep doing it until it stopped.

However, this had put her in a horrible mood for the rest of the day. Even after a long hot shower in the locker rooms, Nakai wasn't feeling any better, and she'd ended up drowning the PADD in the shower with her out of sheer anger. It didn't help that the locker room talk was exclusively about her and her fighting style, or that the looks everyone were giving her were either those of jealousy, fear or desire.

Her trek across the beautiful ground of Starfleet Academy didn't lift her spirits either, and she found herself pouting—as McCoy would describe it—in the cafeteria alongside him and Jim. Neither of them knew the reason, as all they'd heard was that she'd once again kicked someone's ass in her morning Advanced Tactical Training class. McCoy didn't dare push the subject fearing that he'd get the same treatment as the poor sod she'd sent to the infirmary, but Jim didn't have the same thought process. It only made Nakai angrier that Jim was pushing her buttons, and that resulted with him getting hit upside the head more times than he usually did during the day.

Her behaviour in her other classes improved, however. Nakai and McCoy had taken a Xenobiology course together, for different reasons, of course—Nakai needed to know where to shoot—and her eagerness for learning trumped the entire PADD drowning dilemma she'd had that morning. Even learning about Tactical Analysis—which most students found boring—made Nakai happy. By the end of the day, Nakai was in much higher spirits and even agreed to go out for a drink with her friends.

"Come on, you're not having tea again!" Jim whined, waving the bartender over.  
"I have told you before, I do not feel the dubious effects of alcohol," Nakai said rationally. "Therefore, there is no point in my drinking it."  
"She's got a point," McCoy said with a shrug.  
"Hey, don't take her side, Bones—"  
"Don't call me that."  
"—she's gotta lighten up. There's a human waiting to be let loose somewhere in there!"

Nakai rolled her eyes and sighed. Jim continued to pester until the bartender came over, and she gave in, accepting a drink only if Jim paid for it. McCoy drank the usual bourbon and complained that it wasn't as good as the one his uncle used to make back home and Jim got himself wasted on cheap beer. Nakai watched, amused, sipping an unknown kind of alcohol that dried out her mouth. She ended up ordering herself a few different kinds of drinks to get the taste out of her mouth and even downed McCoy's bourbon on their way out.

"And you feel nothing?" Jim slurred.  
"I do feel something."  
"Bones, we did it! We got Kai tipsy!"  
"I feel annoyed, that is what I feel," Nakai said flatly. "Must you cling onto me like this? Can you not stand on your own?"  
"Did you keep count of how much he was drinking?" McCoy laughed. "He could have drunk a Klingon under the table."  
"Doubtful. Klingons are notorious for handling their alcohol very well. Jim gets drunk if he has only a sip of Bloodwine."  
"Hey, don't call me weak, Pointy-Ears!"

* * *

The day was postcard-perfect. Even the buses were running on time, for once. Downtown, the skyscrapers shone silver in the afternoon sun and the sky was an unbroken backdrop of blue. Students on the grounds of Starfleet Academy walked like shoals of fish in a myriad of directions, every single one of them a drop of red over a green sea of grass. Nakai would smile if she were human, but even if she was, she'd be too busy being concerned with the wry smile on Jim Kirk's face. McCoy, Jim and herself were all walking amongst the other students on their way to their next classes.

After three years together, McCoy, Jim and Nakai had become what she could only describe as best friends. They spent most of their free time together, unless Jim was out doing _things_ with a woman, and even had a few classes together. The biggest accomplishment came from McCoy who'd managed to warm up to the cold Vulcan Jim was friends with. Much like Jim, he'd found that through all the calculating looks and statistical facts, Nakai was quite _human_ for a Vulcan. He'd even managed to get the nickname Kai to stick for him alone, much to Jim's chagrin. Though, he'd found a nickname for the doctor in return, so they were even.

"Why are _you_ so happy?" McCoy asked Jim, looking concerned.  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Jim said cheerfully.  
"Of course not," Nakai said flatly.  
"I'm taking the test again."  
"You've gotta be kidding?" McCoy said, sounding rather annoyed.  
"Yeah, tomorrow morning, and I want you two to be there."  
"Jim, McCoy and I have better things to do than watch you make a fool of yourself again," Nakai said, sounding almost irritated as well. "I have tournaments on a regular basis, and McCoy is a doctor."  
"Yeah, that means we're both busy. And this is the third time you're taking the damn test."  
"Bones, Kai," Jim began.  
"Do not call me that," McCoy and Nakai said simultaneously.

Jim rolled his eyes. He walked ahead of his friends and stopped them, forcing McCoy and Nakai to properly listen to him and his request.

"Doesn't it bother you that no one's passed the test?"  
"Jim, it's the Kobayashi Maru—no one passes the test. Not even Kai."  
"Only because I suspect it was designed that way," Nakai defended, putting her arms behind her back. "And it is only you that has gone back for seconds—and thirds."

Jim sighed and clapped both his friends on the shoulder.

"I gotta study."  
"Study, my ass," McCoy grumbled as Jim walked away. "Whatever. Where were we going, Kai?"  
"Xenobiology. We have only twelve minutes remaining before we are late."  
"Great."

* * *

Everyone was in position, and everyone except for James T. Kirk would have rather been doing something else than this test again. Nakai would have been training in the ring, beating up cadets eager to win a fight against her. McCoy, on the other hand, would have preferred to sleep in for once. Sitting at the tactical and science stations respectively, Nakai and McCoy looked at Jim, sitting proudly in the captain's seat. Uhura was at the communications station, glaring a hole in the back of Jim's head. Nakai couldn't blame her. She would rather be beating up cadet Johnson again, right about now.

"We are receiving a distress signal from the U.S.S. Kobayashi Maru," Uhura said, sounding extremely sarcastic. "The ship has lost all power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them."  
"Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them... _Captain_."

Even Nakai couldn't resist rolling her eyes at that statement, and she heard McCoy audibly sigh from the science station. As per every other attempt at this test, the tactical station lit up and Nakai was right on top of it.

"Two Klingon vessels have entered the Neutral Zone and are locking weapons on us," she said flatly.  
"That's okay," Jim said nonchalantly.  
"It is okay?" Nakai asked, turning to face Jim with a raised eyebrow.  
"Yeah, don't worry about it."

Nakai turned to look at McCoy, who shrugged. She turned back to her station as more alarms began to sound.

"Three more Klingon vessels are decloaking and targeting our ship." Nakai turned to Jim. "I do not suppose this is a problem either?"  
"Nope."  
"They are firing, _Captain_."  
"Alert Medical Bay to prepare to receive _all_ crew members from the damaged ship."  
"And how do you expect us to rescue them when we're surrounded by Klingons, _Captain_ ," Uhura asked.  
"Alert Medical," Jim insisted, turning to face her.

Annoyed, she turned and alerted medical.

"Captain, our ship is being hit. Shields at sixty per cent," Nakai alerted.  
"I understand."  
"Well, shouldn't we, I don't know, fire back?" McCoy called.  
"No."  
"Of course not."

There was another alarm on Nakai's tactical station, but when she looked down at the panels, the screens had gone black. The lights turned off and the simulation seemed to have stopped until everything turned back on again. She checked her screens—the Klingon shields were gone. Nakai turned to Jim and gave him a scolding look. He shrugged his shoulders and began giving orders.

"Arm photons. Prepare to fire on the Klingon warbirds."  
"Yes, sir," Nakai said. "Photon torpedoes are armed."  
"Fire on all enemy ships. One torpedo each should do the trick—don't wanna waste ammunition."  
"Targets locked and acquired on all enemy vessels. Firing."

Nakai fired on all the Klingon ships, and one by one they were all destroyed.

"All enemy vessels destroyed, sir," she said, almost sighing.  
"Begin rescue of the stranded crew," Jim ordered. He stood, looking proud of himself, and walked around the room. "So! We've managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one on board was injured _and_ ," he continued, turning to the observation room, "the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is underway."

Nakai glanced up at the observatory. She suddenly got nervous, seeing all the instructors watching them, then going off to talk amongst themselves. This wasn't supposed to happen. The Kobayashi Maru test was clearly meant to be unwinnable—at least according to Nakai, and Nakai was usually right about these sort of things. 

All the students began filing out of the room, with a few people giving Jim encouragement and praise, and others, like Uhura, giving him disapproving looks. When Jim, Nakai and McCoy were out of earshot, and on their way to their classes, Nakai smacked Jim upside the head. McCoy didn't seemed surprised, only amused, but Jim whined as he rubbed the sore spot where he'd gotten hit.

"The hell, Kai?"  
"Do not call me that," Nakai hissed. "What were you thinking, Jim?"  
"I told you I'd pass the test," he said proudly.  
"By cheating?"  
"Cheating?" McCoy said, a little taken aback. "You cheated?"  
"Who said anything about cheating?"

A few cadets passed by, seemingly interested in their conversation. Nakai pulled them aside into an empty hallway.

"This might sound like the arrogant boasting of a Vulcan, but I did not go back for seconds because it is impossible for me to fail a test."  
"Yeah, that does sound like arrogant boasting, and exactly the reason Jim went back for thirds," McCoy said.  
"Kinda does."  
"I have said it before, the purpose of this test _is_ to fail, Jim," Nakai insisted. "If you win, they will surely accuse you of changing the parameters of the test—that you cheated."  
"Right. You're just saying this because you're mad that I passed."  
"No, I am saying that it is logically impossible for me to have failed. I followed every protocol, every emergency situation scenario that I am being trained for, and I _still_ did not pass the test. Logically speaking, the crew of the Kobayashi Maru should be fine, but everything went wrong specifically so that one fails the test. And if you pass a test that you are obligated to fail, it is clear that you will be accused of cheating.  
"Hm, didn't think that through."  
"You are realising this now?"  
"Who the hell designs a test like that?" McCoy grumbled.  
"Someone like me," Nakai said with a sigh. "A Vulcan."


	8. Distress Signal

"Do not be too hard on him."  
"Nakai, you know that what he did is unacceptable."  
"I am aware of that, but you must at least acknowledge the thinking behind it."  
"No matter how... creative he might have been, he still changed the parameters of the test."

It was the following Monday. The Academic Panel had called a meeting to session to discuss cadet Kirk's actions. Nakai had been convinced by Jim to talk to the, quote, dumb-ass Vulcan who'd devised the test in the first place, and that was precisely what she was doing. By no means did she expect to win against Spock, because she rarely could. If there was one person Nakai could never win against it was him. However, she also knew that ultimately, Spock and the Academy were right. If he'd accepted his failure and let it go, then no one would be in this position. The fact that they were in this situation in the first place was all the proof they needed to say Jim had cheated.

"You must know this," Spock said, as they sat down in the cafeteria.  
"I do know, Spock. But he is my friend, and I felt the need to speak on his behalf, regardless."

Spock nodded. He understood Nakai's thinking, no matter how illogical and futile it might have been. But after knowing her for an odd ten years or so, he'd come to realise that this was normal for her. It was the Romulan inside of her manifesting its emotions, but sometimes Spock swore she was acting like a very stoic human.

"How are you?" he asked. "We have not spoken in some time."  
"The exams have been taking up most of my time," Nakai explained. "I apologise."  
"Do not apologise. I prefer that you take your studies seriously."

Nakai smiled faintly. Once again, Spock was acting like an older brother.

"Has Starfleet been sending you notices again?"  
"Yes," Nakai sighed. "You would think that after all this time, they would check your medical files and compare them." Nakai took a sip of her tea. "During my meeting with the board, I told them as much. The Head of Starfleet himself said that they would compare the test results. That was three years ago. I do not know how much more of this push and pull they will accept on my behalf."  
"It is likely, that once you are assigned to a ship, they will be more insistent."  
"I suppose I will have to strike a deal with the Chief Medical Officer aboard that ship."

Spock glanced from his food and up at Nakai.

"It is interesting to hear you chastise your friend for cheating, and yet you yourself—"  
"I know it is hypocritical of me, Spock. Do not remind me. However, it is not like I have cheated in order to perform better academically. It is simply unjust that I must resort to these methods to be accepted into the Academy in the first place. It is not my fault that my father is who he is. I am still Vulcan, after all."  
"Indeed you are."

A beeping sound made its way to Nakai's ears, and Spock pulled out a PADD. He read something off of it, and then downed the rest of his tea.

"The briefing for the hearing is beginning soon, I must be there."  
"Of course."

Spock rose and as he was about to leave, Nakai called to him.

"Can you do me a favour, Spock?"  
"Anything."  
"Just... do not let him get expelled. I would still like to be assigned to a ship with him one day."

The man's eyebrows twitched in a split second on confusion, but he nodded once, agreeing to her request. Nakai thanked him as he left, and then finished her own meal in silence. When she was done, she collected her plate and mug and brought them back to the counter. The cleanup crew thanked her, as always, and she left to go to her dorm room.

As usual, her roommate was nowhere to be found. Nakai sat on the edge of her bed and removed her boots and shed her standard grey uniform. She grabbed her formal uniform and brought it with her into the bathroom, allowing the steam from her shower to steam out the wrinkles. Nakai emerged from the bathroom clad in red and drying her hair with her towel. Her roommate had returned and was lazily reading a magazine on her bed.

"I see you have not forgotten where your dorm room is."  
"Look, Pointy-ears, I stay away from you because you annoy me—but I can't stay in my boyfriend's dorm forever."  
"That is not my concern," Nakai said, sitting down at her vanity.

It wasn't usually a Vulcan custom to groom or adorn themselves with anything fancy, but Nakai had gotten into the habit of taking very good care of her hair and skin. It stemmed from an off-hand comment from Jim, who noticed that her hair and skin were rougher than he'd expected them to be. For some reason, it bothered her.

"What's the occasion?" Nakai's roommate asked. "Finally found someone who tolerates that boring personality of yours?"  
"There are several people who tolerate my boring personality, Alnara," Nakai said as she dried her hair. "However, no, this is not for a personal event. I am attending Jim Kirk's academic hearing."  
"Kirk? You know him?"  
"It might have escaped your notice, Alnara, but he and I have been friends for three years now."  
"Damn, girl, and you haven't bagged that?"

Nakai paused and it took all of her built-up self-control not to wince at that statement—the thought of bagging Jim Kirk was distressing, to say the least. Nakai chose to ignore Nara and keep drying and straightening her hair. Then she put a thin layer of moisturiser on her face and turned from her vanity.

"You're not going to put makeup on?" Alnara said, sounding almost disgusted.  
"Unlike you, Alnara, I do not wish to hide the features of my face."  
"I would if I were you."

The Vulcan rose an eyebrow and put half of her hair up into a bun, then pinned her Starfleet brooch to her uniform. She looked at herself in the full-body mirror for a few seconds, and after determining she looked adequate, she left. She followed some other cadets down the halls of the Academy and then veered off into the presentation hall to meet up the others who were attending the meeting. McCoy and Jim were already there, standing amongst the small ocean of cadets all muttering about the meeting ahead. Nakai sighed and fixed McCoy's collar for him as he complained about it not being cooperative. When the doors opened, everyone filed in and took their seats. Soon after, the faculty and board members came in as well, and Nakai spotted Spock across the room just as the meeting was called into session.

"This session has been called to resolve a troubling matter," the Academy president said. "James T. Kirk step forward."

To her left, Nakai felt Jim rise. He passed in front of her and McCoy and made his way down to the stand.

"Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to Regulation 17.43 of the Starfleet code. Is there anything you wish to say before we begin, sir?"  
"Yes, I uh... I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly."

The Academic president glanced to the crowd. A few moments later, Spock stood and made his way to the stand as well. Jim didn't look happy at all. He and McCoy knew this Vulcan—they'd seen Nakai with him on several occasions, and knew that they'd known each other for a long time.

"This is Commander Spock. He is one of our most distinguished graduates. He's programmed the Kobayashi Maru test for the last four years."  
"That's the Vulcan you grew up with?" McCoy whispered.  
"I have known him for fifteen years," Nakai whispered back. "He is somewhat akin to a brother, now."  
"Commander," the president said, bringing McCoy and Nakai back to the hearing.  
"Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test," Spock said.  
"Your point being?" Jim asked.  
"In academic vernacular, you cheated."

Jim scoffed.

"Let me ask you something I think we all know the answer to. The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? I mean, you programmed it to be unwinnable."  
"Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario," Spock commented.   
"I don't believe in no-win scenarios."  
"Then not only did you violate the rules, but you also failed to understand the principle lesson."  
"Please, enlighten me."  
"This test was inspired by someone close to me. Someone who had no choice to leave the things they held most dear behind in order to survive," Spock said.

He glanced to the crowd and to Nakai, who was having a very hard time controlling the unpleasant memories Spock was referring to. She could taste the dilithium crystal dust in her mouth, she could feel the disruptor blasts on her skin, she could feel the sheer panic in the face of her mother's death.

"The purpose is to experience fear as she did. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet Captain."

Jim looked down. He seemed to understand what Spock was talking about, and just as he was about to respond, a messenger interrupted the meeting. Nakai's eyebrows furrowed. She recognised the look in his eye. It was panic—it made Nakai nervous. She watched him as he went up to the Academy president and handed him a PADD. Nakai watched his eyes roam across the screen and the worry grow in his eyes—this made Nakai feel even worse.

"We have received a distress call from Vulcan."

In the moment that followed, all Nakai could see was Spock as they exchanged looks from across the room. He could see the fear in Nakai's eyes, the emotions that were bubbling up to the surface, the ones she always had problems controlling. 

"With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets to report to Hangar One immediately. Dismissed."  
"Kai, Kai—"

Nakai turned to McCoy. He'd never seen so much emotion in her eyes before. He hated that it was fear.

"Kai, go," McCoy said calmly. "I'll deal with Jim—make sure we're all on the same ship."

Nakai gave her friend a sharp nod and leapt over the seat in front of her to get to Spock. Her heartbeat was rapid, and while you couldn't tell she was panicking, Spock and McCoy knew it by the look in her eye.

"I would tell you to maintain control of your emotions, but I value my life," Spock said, leading Nakai out of the room.  
"Smart man," Nakai said, voice a little shaky. "You really designed the Kobayashi Maru after me?"  
"Yes. Is that a problem?"  
"Not particularly, but now is not the time to discuss it."

Spock nodded and led Nakai out of the presentation hall. A flag officer approached them, a PADD in hand, and he gave it to Spock before running off again.

"You are in luck. I am in charge of the flight manifest," Spock said. "I will assign you the Enterprise alongside Captain Pike and I. In any other case, I would avoid the appearance of favouritism, but I think Starfleet will not fault me for this."  
"Might I ask you to assign Cadet McCoy to the Enterprise as well?"  
"McCoy?"  
"Yes. I trust him with my life."  
"Very well." Spock pressed a few things on his tablet. "You do not wish to inquire about Cadet Kirk?"  
"I suspect he is suspended pending academic review."

Spock nodded and looked at Nakai's profile. She looked terrified, but beyond that, she looked determined.

Once at Hangar One, Spock and Nakai split up. She headed to the barracks that Spock had instructed her to go to and checked in with the leader. He gave her the all clear as well as which position to report to, and then Nakai headed to the supply closets to gather some things. She changed into a standard operations uniform and took a moment to admire it before hurrying up to strap a belt to her waist and stuff a phaser in its holster. As a backup, she took a utility knife and stuffed it inside her boot.

Nakai hurried over to the right shuttle and helped the pilot prepare for takeoff. A few others entered the shuttle, and just before takeoff, McCoy and Jim burst in after arguing with the officer outside. Nakai went to greet them, but then saw Jim. He was red in the face and sweating all over. She raised an eyebrow at McCoy.

"Melvaran Mud Fleas."  
"Only the symptoms I hope?" Nakai asked, helping Jim settle into the seat between herself and McCoy.  
"Yeah. The idiot is on academic suspension," McCoy said. "You can thank your pointy-eared friend for that, but also for getting me on the Enterprise."  
"He only did it because I said I trusted you with my life."  
"Do you?" McCoy asked, surprised.  
"I do."

McCoy smiled quickly and gratefully. He and Nakai settled into their seats and Jim gagged, the nausea part of the Melvaran Mud Flea symptoms kicking in. Nakai didn't notice. Her mind was on overdrive and her eyes were blankly gazing ahead. Controlling these running thoughts was proving impossible, and McCoy was starting to notice. Nakai was wringing her hands together and her brows were furrowed in concern. It was understandable, and he'd seen the fear in her eyes earlier, but he never thought he'd see an obvious display of emotion from a Vulcan.

"Kai," McCoy said softly.

The Vulcan snapped out of her thoughts and turned to him. Her eyes were still a little wide and her eyebrows still furrowed, but he could tell that she was trying her best to control herself. He nodded to the shuttle window.

"Look."

Nakai turned back to the window. It reminded her of what she saw when leaving Remus and landing on Vulcan. The stars, the planet in the distance. But soon, something else came into view, and it temporarily distracted Nakai from the distress signal they'd received from Vulcan. The Starbase closest to Earth was coming into view as well as all the ships that were docked to it. It was a mass of metal and glass, but Nakai had never seen anything so remarkable. As they approached it, Nakai began identifying the ships they were passing by and finally, she could see the Enterprise in the distance. It was brand new, its construction completed this year. The ship was practically as shiny as a star, and Nakai was eager to serve aboard it. 

However, she wished it were under better circumstances.


	9. Tachyon Particles

McCoy and Nakai navigated Jim through the Hangar of the U.S.S. Enterprise as for him to not be seen. The air was warm and heavy, and the sounds of shuttles and people shouting over each other were nearly deafening to Nakai's sensitive hearing. Stations were beeping in the distance, alarms blaring and communicators ringing in people's pockets, and Nakai could hear them all. This organised chaos in the belly of a starship, these sounds... they were things that Nakai would love getting used to during her tenure on this ship. However, right now, Nakai was focused on her task. McCoy, Jim and herself weaved through the thicker crowds and bumped into several people, swiftly pushed through them to get to an access panel.

"Hell, it's that pointy-eared bastard," McCoy called.

In the distance, Nakai could see Spock. She pushed McCoy and Jim aside.

"Get him to Medical Bay, and yourselves changed."  
"Where're you going?" McCoy asked.  
"I need to report to the bridge," Nakai said, a little pride in her voice.  
"Favouritism," Jim mumbled through an excessive amount of saliva.  
"Clearly."  
"Hey Kai!" McCoy called as Nakai was leaving. "Be safe!"

Nakai turned and looked at her friends. For the first time in over ten years, she smiled.

"You too, my friends."

She left McCoy and Jim gaping, and caught up with Spock. He acknowledged her with a short nod and he lead up all the way through the hangar and towards the turbolifts. He pressed something on the command panel inside the turbolift and then it began moving upwards until it reached the bridge. It was a technological marvel. Translucent command panels glowed with blue and red, and the stations were pure white. The display screen was the biggest Nakai had ever seen, as were the panels for the science and engineering stations on the back wall. To Nakai's immediate right was the tactical command post, and she broke off from Spock and headed to it immediately. 

"Mr Spock," Captain Pike called from his chair.  
"Captain," Spock acknowledged.   
"I see you've brought up a new recruit."  
"Cadet Nakai Si'Vath Teker-khaf reporting for duty, sir," Nakai said, saluting.  
"Do you trust her, Spock?"  
"With my life, sir."  
"At ease, Cadet. Get ready and stay sharp."  
"Aye, Captain."

Nakai shot a grateful glance to Spock, and began calibrating everything on her station. She checked the shields, the torpedoes, the phaser banks and made sure that everything was stocked and ready to operate. She checked with the security teams to make sure that everyone had reported for duty, and made a report for the Captain by the time he'd arrive to her station after a round of the bridge.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the maiden voyage of our newest flagship deserves more pomp and circumstance than we can afford today," Pike said, returning to his seat. "Her christening will just have to be a reward for a safe return home. Carry on." He pressed a button on his command chair. "All decks, this is Captain Pike. Prepare for immediate departure. Helm, thrusters."  
"Moorings retracted, Captain. Dock Control reports ready," the man at the helm said. "Thrusters fired. Separating from spacedock."

Nakai watched the viewscreen as the Enterprise detached itself from the Starbase. Ahead, she could see all the other ships waiting to depart, and beyond that, the vast emptiness of space.

"The fleet's cleared spacedock, Captain. All ships ready for warp."  
"Set a course for Vulcan."  
"Aye, sir. Course laid in."  
"Maximum warp," Pike said. "Punch it."

The helmsman prepared for warp, and as he increased the speed, Nakai could feel the engine build up power. However, while all the other ships had entered warp, the Enterprise hadn't moved. The helmsman disengaged warp-speed and rechecked his station.

"Lieutenant, where's helmsman McKenna?" Pike asked.  
"He has lungworms, sir. He couldn't report to his post," he said, then turned to the Captain. "I'm Hikaru Sulu."  
"And you are a pilot, right?"  
"Very much so, sir. I'm uh... not sure what's wrong."  
"Is the parking brake on?" Pike joked.  
"No, sir," Sulu said, turning back to helm. "I'll figure it out."  
"Have you disengaged the external inertial dampeners?" Spock asked.

Sulu seemed irked for a moment, but then disengaged the proper dampeners.

"Ready for warp, sir."  
"Punch it."

Sulu engaged the warp drive again, and once again Nakai could feel the engine working under her feet. And then, in a split second, they were travelling at warp speed, stars and solar systems passing by them faster than the speed of light. It was fascinating, and if Nakai didn't have to concern herself with scanning every single inch of space, she'd stare at it for hours.

"Engines at maximum warp, Captain," Sulu said.  
"Russian whiz kid, what's your name?" Captain Pike asked. "Chanko? Cherpov?"  
"Ensign Chekov. Pavel Andreievich, sir," the boy said in a heavy accent, turning to face the Captain.  
"Fine. Chekov, Pavel Andreievich. Begin a ship-wide mission broadcast."  
"Yes, sir. Happy to." He turned back to his station. "Ensign authorization code nine-five-wictor-wictor-two."  
"Authorization not recognised."  
"Ensign authorization code nine-five-victor-victor-two," Chekov said with some effort.  
"Authorisation recognised."  
"May I have your attention, please. At 2200 hours, telemetry detected an anomaly in the Neutral Zone."

Nakai gaze shifted immediately to Chekov and then to Spock, who had also turned to Nakai when the Neutral Zone was mentioned. Were the Romulans involved? Suddenly, the anxiety and the fear Nakai had been feeling was slowly being replaced with anger. She'd escaped them before, left them behind for good - how dare they attack her home?

"What appeared to be a lightning storm in space. Soon after, Starfleet received a distress signal from the Wulcan High Command that their planet was experiencing seismic activity. Our mission is to assess the condition of Wulcan and assist in evacuations if necessary. We should be arriving at Wulcan within three minutes. Thank you for your time."

Chekov ended the transmission, and Nakai focused back onto her readings. Spock came up beside her a seconds after.

"Should the Romulans be involved... how much information will you permit me to divulge?"  
"None, Spock. I will divulge it myself as it becomes necessary," Nakai said. "Thank you for asking."  
"I would never do something that would personally affect you in a negative way, Nakai. I consider you... a sister."  
"And you... my brother."

Both Vulcan nodded respectfully to each other, just as someone burst onto the bridge. It was Jim, followed by Uhura and McCoy, who shot Nakai an apologetic glance before following Jim again.

"Captain! Captain Pike, sir!"  
"Jim! Come back here!" McCoy scolded.  
"Captain! We have to stop the ship!"

Nakai's eyebrows furrowed. Stop the ship? As she listened to Jim, she began numerous scans of the area ahead.

"Kirk, how the hell did you get onboard the Enterprise?"  
"Captain, this man's under the influence of a severe reaction to a vaccine," McCoy tried to explain.  
"Bones, please--"  
"He's completely delusional - I take full responsibility."  
"Vulcan is not experiencing a natural disaster. It's being attacked by Romulans."  
"Romulans?" Pike scoffed. "Cadet Kirk, I think you've had enough attention for one day. McCoy take him back to medical. We'll have words later."  
"Look, sir, that same anomaly that we saw today--"  
"Kirk is not cleared to be aboard this vessel," Spock interjected.  
"I get it. You're a great arguer."  
"I can have him removed--"  
"Try it! I'm trying to save the ship!" Jim shouted. "That same anomaly that we saw today also occurred on the day of my birth, before a Romulan ship attacked the U.S.S. Kelvin. You know that Captain, I read your dissertation. That ship, which had formidable and advanced weaponry, was never seen or heard from again. Until now - I'm sure that's what Nakai is scanning for now."

Nakai almost sighed at Jim's words. The Captain, Spock and every other head in the room turned towards her, waiting for an answer. 

"Yes, it is."  
"Cadet?" Captain Pike called.  
"When a Romulan ship is active or is cloaked, it emits high levels of tachyon particles," Nakai said. "If I reconfigure the scanners and target the search for those particles, then we will be able to detect any Romulan ships that are in the area or have been in the last 24 to 48 hours."  
"Spock?"  
"It is a very particular emission, Captain, and there are no conclusive tests or results for it. However, Starfleet has detected tachyon emissions near the Neutral Zone before. Therefore it is a sound analysis on Cadet Nakai's part."  
"Keep scanning, Cadet. I want everything."  
"Yes, sir."

Captain Pike turned back to Jim.

"The anomaly was on the edge of Klingon space. At 2300 hours last night, there was an attack - 47 Klingon warbirds were destroyed by Romulans, sir, and it was reported that the Romulans were on one ship, one massive ship."  
"If it was a single ship," Nakai said, as she continued her scans, "then it is likely a Romulan mining vessel. I will narrow my search parameters."  
"And you know of this Klingon attack how?" Pike asked.  
"I intercepted and translated the message myself," Uhura said, most likely against her better judgement. "Kirk's report is accurate, sir."  
"We're warping into a trap," Jim insisted. "The Romulans are waiting for us, I promise you that."  
"Spock?"  
"The Cadet's logic is sound. And Lieutenant Uhura is unmatched in Xenolinguistics. We would be wise to accept her conclusions."  
"All right, scan Vulcan space - look for any Romulan transmissions," Captain Pike said.  
"Sir, I'm not sure I can distinguish the Vulcan language from Romulan," the communications officer said.

Nakai turned over to the officer, but Spock rose an eyebrow at her. She caught herself and stopped, returning to her station. However, Pike had noticed. He made no comment.

"Can you speak Romulan?" he asked Uhura.  
"All three dialects, sir."  
"Good. Relieve the Lieutenant."  
"Yes, sir."

Uhura took the communications officer's place, and he hailed all the other ships as instructed by the Captain.

"All the other ships have left warp and are in Vulcan space, sir, but we seem to have lost all contact."  
"Captain," Nakai called. "There are high concentrations of tachyon particles in Vulcan space. Judging by the level of dissipation and the quantities still remaining, it is safe to assume that there is currently a large Romulan ship ahead."

Nakai went silent for a moment.

"Cadet?"  
"Sir, if my calculations are correct, and I can assure you they are... the Romulan vessel is approximately nine thousand meters in length."

Nakai looked up at the Captain, and he could see the fear in her eyes even though the rest of her face gave nothing away. Nakai tried her best to calm herself, but the memories of herself on ships like that, deep in caves or being abused by her father were too strong in this moment of emotional vulnerability to suppress. She was slowly breaking down, and if she didn't have anything else to concentrate on, Nakai would literally burst. This is thing was attacking her home, and it most likely had killed the entire fleet ahead of them. The purpose of the Kobayashi Maru test seemed far in her mind.

"Sir, I pick up no Romulan transmissions in the area," Uhura said. "Or any transmission at all."  
"It's because they're being attacked," Jim insisted.

Pike stared at Jim and then sat down in his chair.

"Cadet Nakai, shields up. Red alert."  
"Aye, sir," she said, voice strained. "Shields up."

The alarm began blaring all over the ship. The entire bridge went into battle position, and Nakai re-calibrated the photon torpedoes and the phaser banks. 

"Arrival at Vulcan in five seconds," Sulu stated. "Four... Three... Two... One!"


	10. Nero

Tense muscles were the mirror of Nakai's anxiety, but she would never admit her fear. She could be at a level that would induce paralysis in others, like now, as everyone listened to the emergency alarm blaring, the threat of death looming over them, but carry on as if nothing was wrong. Not a man in a thousand could spot her tension unless it was Spock, and even then, he was finding it hard to distinguish the fear from the anger in her eyes. Through the blaring alarm and the thousands of flickering lights indicating absolute danger, he could tell that Nakai was convincing herself to stop being afraid. She wasn't allowed to be scared, to show the tension growing in her muscles and deep inside her heart. 

"Arrival at Vulcan in five seconds," Sulu stated. Nakai could hear him clearly even through the alarms. "Four... Three... Two... One!"

The viewscreen suddenly went from the bright and glowing blues of warp speed and displayed hues of bright oranges and yellows as fires claimed several damaged ships. Nakai and the crew braced for impact as hundreds of pieces of debris flew at them, and Sulu went through evasive manoeuvres to avoid the saucer section of one of the fleet's ships. There was a cacophony of shouting, of orders being thrown around, of crewmates panicking. But Nakai's eyes were fixed on her station, desperately trying to find anything that would distract her from the impending doom placed upon her planet.

"Damage report!" Pike called from the Captain's chair.  
"Deflector shields are still up," Nakai said sharply. "Minimal damage to the hull, sir."  
"All stations—Engineer Olson, report!"

There was a short staticky message from the engineering section, but Pike was distracted by an entire freshly destroyed ship hurtling through space right at them. He gave Sulu directions to avoid it, and the Enterprise scraped by it, taking minimal damage to the main thruster panels. A sigh of relief washed over Nakai, but it was soon replaced by dread as a familiar picture came upon the viewscreen. The Romulan mining vessel was a scaled-up version of what Nakai had seen in the past. It was hundreds of times bigger than the ones she'd seen before, hundreds of time longer than the Enterprise itself, and hundreds of times more sinister than Nakai remembered. 

"Captain—they're locking torpedoes," Nakai said, her voice suddenly a little shaky.  
"Divert auxiliary power from port nacelles to forward shields," Pike ordered.

Nakai pressed several things on her command centre, and the power was diverted just in time for the torpedo to hit. It crashed into the middle section of the ship and took down the shields to a third of their power.

"Cadet, status report!"  
"Shields down to thirty-two per cent," Nakai called. "Their weapons are far too powerful, sir. We cannot survive another hit."  
"Sulu, get me Starfleet Command."  
"Captain," Spock called from his station. "The Romulan vessel has lowered some kind of high-energy pulse device into the Vulcan atmosphere. Its signal appears to be blocking our communications and transporter abilities."  
"All power to forward shields," Pike said. "Prepare to fire all weapons."  
"Yes, sir," Nakai stated.

Nakai sent word for the torpedoes to be loaded. She powered up the phaser banks and then diverted all remaining power to the forward shields. But as the Romulan's weapons were locked onto the Enterprise, everything came to a standstill. Suddenly, the Romulan vessel was hailing them, and one of them was on the viewscreen. He wasn't like any of the Romulans Nakai had seen before. His face was tattooed, his ears were clipped, and there were many pockmarks on his skin that Nakai could only attribute to mutilation.

"Hello," he said, sounding almost amused.  
"I'm Captain Christopher Pike. To whom am I speaking?"  
"Hi, Christopher. I'm Nero."  
"You've declared war against the Federation. Withdraw, and I'll agree to arrange a conference with Romulan leadership a neutral loca—"  
"I do not speak for the Empire," Nero interrupted. "We stand apart. As do your Vulcan crewmembers. Isn't that right, Spock, Nakai?"

Nakai's eyebrows furrowed. She shared a glance with Spock, who stood and walked to the centre of the bridge.

"Pardon me, but I do not believe Nakai and I are acquainted with you," he said.   
"No, we're not... Not yet."  
"Spock, there's something I'd like you to see. And Nakai..." Nero paused for a moment, and he narrowed his eyes. "I think you'll enjoy this most of all."

Nakai went to speak but hesitated. It wasn't hard to deduce that the Romulan before them was from another time, and if he was, there was no knowing what sort of things he knew about her. By the manner which he addressed her, looked at her... Nakai was sure that he knew who she truly was somehow.

"Captain Pike, your transporter has been disabled," Nero continued. "As you can see by the rest of your armada, you have no choice. You will operate a shuttle and come aboard the Narada for negotiations. That is all."

As Nero disappeared from the viewscreen, everything went very quiet. All members of the crew slowly turned to their Captain, breathing uneven and hands threatening to shake. The same went for Nakai. She gazed at Pike with a mixture of anticipation and fear, but deep down she knew what the Captain was going to do. Slowly, he stood, deep in thought.

"He'll kill you, you know that," Jim said, staring at the man.  
"Your survival is unlikely," Spock added.   
"Captain, we gain nothing by diplomacy. Going over to that ship is a mistake."  
"I, too, agree. You should rethink your strategy."  
"I understand that," Pike said calmly. There was a moment of silence, and then he turned to the rest of the crew. "I need officers who've been trained in advanced hand-to-hand combat."  
"I have training, sir," Nakai said immediately.  
"No, you're staying here."  
"Captain, she is unmatched in hand-to-hand combat," Spock said. "I have seen her records."  
"I know, Spock." The Captain turned to Nakai. "But you know more about these Romulans than you're letting on, and I want you here to keep an eye on them."

Nakai looked straight at Pike and nodded stiffly. He could tell she was frightened, nervous, but nothing other than her eyes let it show. Despite that, she confidently took a step forward.

"Then I recommend Lieutenant Sulu go with you," the Vulcan said. "I have seen him fight."  
"Sulu, you're with me."

Sulu gave Nakai a grateful nod, which she returned, and he stood to join Pike as he left the room. Pike called for Jim to follow, as he wasn't supposed to be on the ship anyway, and he too went after the Captain.

"Chekov, you have the conn."  
"Aye-aye, sir," the boy said.

Spock went with them as they left, leaving Nakai in a room full of strangers on the bridge. She took a deep breath and returned to her console, continuing her analysis of the Romulan ship, this time, taking into consideration the Captain's words. She did know more than she was letting on, and she would search accordingly. Her home planet was in danger. This wasn't the time to let her unique knowledge go to waste.

Moments later, Spock returned, looking more severe than before. He strode up to the Captain's chair and sat down, then contacted the medical bay to speak with the Chief Medical Officer. However, Nakai recognised the irritated voice of one Leonard McCoy when a response came.

"Dr Puri was on deck six. He's dead," McCoy said. "This is McCoy."

Spock glanced over at Nakai for a moment.

"Then you have just inherited his responsibilities as Chief Medical Officer," Spock said after a beat.  
"Yeah, tell me something I don't know!"  
"I need you to prepare for eventual casualties and several injured."  
"I'm already on it."

McCoy disconnected immediately. Spock looked over at Nakai with an air of disapproval, but as Nakai nodded to him in gratitude, the feeling vanished. She was right, after all. It was unfair that she be looped in with the Romulans they were fighting against. Nakai was nothing like them. Striking a deal with McCoy to conceal her true identity did not seem like such a terrible thing compared to everything she could do for Starfleet.

Nakai continued to analyse and monitor the enemy vessel as Chekov watched the shuttlecraft that Pike and the others had taken out towards the Romulans. After what seemed like an eternity, Chekov pulled up their coordinates on the screen, and Nakai glanced up from her console to watch three different coloured dots plummet down the shaft of the Romulan's high-energy pulse device.

"The away team has entered ze atmosphere," Chekov said. "Tventy-thousand metres."  
"Nakai, keep an eye on Captain Pike's shuttle," Spock said, looking over to Nakai.  
"Yes, sir."

Chekov sent over the data from Pike's shuttle to Nakai's console, and she monitored it closely as it approached the Romulan vessel.

"Approaching ze platform at fifty-eight hundred metres," Chekov continued. 

He continued to update on the distance until they reached two thousand metres. Sulu and Jim pulled their chutes and began descending at a much slower rate, but engineer Olson was determined to get closer. Nakai heard Jim shout expletives at him, insisting he pull his chute, but Olson held back until he was at eight hundred metres. However, he'd pulled it too late. Moments after the red dot on the screen showing Olson had landed onto the device, it vanished, and all of his life signs disappeared.

"O-Olson is gone, sir!" Chekov called. "But Kirk has landed."

Nakai let out a small sigh of relief. A few moments later, Sulu landed as well. She heard them both struggle against a few Romulans who were guarding the device, but after a short fight, Jim and Sulu came out all right.

"The jamming signal is gone!" Uhura called. "Transport abilities are reestablished."  
"Transporter control is reengaged, Captain," Chekov added.  
"Gravitational sensors are back online, sir," Nakai said. "Running scans on Vulcan and the enemy ship."  
"Kirk to Enterprise! They've just launched some kind of probe into the hole they drilled."  
"Spock."

Nakai could feel the fear in her chest waiting to take over, bubbling up like water over dry-ice. Her heart twisted and sunk with anxiety as she stared at the console before her. She tried to regain control of herself, but her breathing became shorter and nearly impossible to bring back to normal.

"The gravitational sensors are off the scale. If my calculations are correct, they are creating a singularity that will consume the entire planet."  
"They're... creating a black hole at the centre of Vulcan?"  
"Yes."  
"How long does the planet have?"  
"Minutes, Spock. Minutes."


End file.
